Laurie - the trees in Michigan are turning and fall is coming fast. I do not want to give up my shorts either. All to soon the white stuff will be here. I am a summer person completely and I hate the thoughts of winter approaching.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 8:37 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Maui beckons and you will be with me. I'll share every ray of precious sun with you (there are seasons there as well).

Aloha

Sent by Joan S. | 8:46 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Dear Laurie,
May light and love surround you...........still lifting........

Prayers to all.

Sent by sasha | 8:47 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Good Morning Laurie! Here in NE TN and SW VA, we have four distinct seasons, and there are things I love about each of them, though spring and fall are my favorites. Dad loved autumn and so do I! I can understand though you and Leroy, being California sun children loving the summer, and the appeal that following the sun into an endless summer would hold for you...and you know what, I think that's just what our Leroy did!
Sending love to you today Laurie, Linda

Sent by Linda Lee | 8:52 AM ET | 09-18-2008

I too hate the end of summer. While I don't enjoy the summer heat, the end of summer and the long pants and thought of snow shoveling isn't so welcome. One thing I do to help is plan a nice early spring vacation to a tropical location. Maybe you could gather a good friend and make a plan. It is something to look forward too and will bring you a hint of summer in the middle of winter.

I am sure it is difficult seeing the season close as you think about Leroy. A mark in the book that things move on even when our loved ones are gone. It's too bad we can' bottle up some of the season to keep us company.

Big hugs to you Laurie. Lifting for as long as you need. 1....2....3.

Sent by Alexis Redmond | 9:05 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie,

Go to Maui and toast your love.

Teri

Sent by Teri Thomas | 9:08 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie, when I read your post this morning I could not believe how close to my feelings of just the last few days. As I drove home from work a couple of days ago in the dark I could not help but reflect that just 2 or 3 weeks ago at the same time it was day light out. I couldn't help but reflect on the changing of the seasons, and thinking I am not ready to leave this summer yet. I am so glad though that if I had to lose my husband at any time that it was in the spring when it is such a pretty time. Somehow the sun shine out helps. It makes you feel like being outside of your home. I am not sure I am ready for the changing to fall and winter (not sure I have a choice)though.

Again Laurie, you have echoed the feelings of many others I am sure. You make us realize there truly are many others out there going through the same times we are going through. Missing our loved ones and not really ready to go away from the season we are in.

Take care Laurie.

Sent by dorothy from Oregon | 9:10 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie, If it makes you feel better, FOLLOW THE SUN. At this time in your life I think that you should do what you feel the NEED to do - after a while, I am sure that you will know what you need to do. Take care and G-d Bless you.
jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 9:11 AM ET | 09-18-2008

I think, Laurie, when you feel like you can do it, a trip to a sunny place is in order. You deserve to take a journey in the sun, maybe a place to write and think. Keep those shorts on and go! We'll be here when you get back.

Sent by sarah | 9:17 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Oh Laurie - this next year is going to have a lot of lasts remembrances, and they are going to be hard. I hope that in some small way it helps you to put your feelings into words for this blog community. We will continue to keep lifting you up, and sending cybe hugs your way. Thank you for allowing us to help you and grieve with you.

And it's ok to get some donuts if you need 'em - maybe with some fresh apple cider?

1-2-3 LIFT!!!!

Sent by Dannielle Higgins in Traverse City, MI | 9:41 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Come Laurie.
Come home to So.California.Call us, and we will sit on the beach and eat In-N-Out burgers.
Florida may be closer, but do they have In-N-Out?
Thanks for continuing the blog. You are held up in prayer every day.
God Bless you, Vickie

Sent by Vickie | 9:45 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie ~ We will all continue to be here in love and support as this transition from summer to fall occurs. More importantly, we are here as you adjust to life without Leroy's physical presence.

This morning I was able to watch the video from his life celebration. What a beautiful tribute to an amazing man!

Praying for your continued strength and peace,
Tracy

Sent by tracy | 10:00 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie and all,
These are the moments, the cool evenings of fall, that Neil and I used to sit on our patio, let the dogs run, watch the golfers go by and do our yard work. The humidity is gone, the air conditioning bill dropped a hundred bucks (yeah) and I look forward to another chapter in my life closing. On Oct.1st, the estate will hopefully close and I will be allowed to buy the home Neil and I shared our dreams together in. It is another step forward for me.
Reluctantly, I will have to close some of those closet doors behind me. But the one thing no one will ever be able to do to me is take my memories or our time together away. Those are mine forever.
Laurie and all,
I wish you time of healing, peace and much strength....
Continued prayers and much love,

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 10:00 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Lauri,
Go to Maui...just get up and leave..80 degrees all year....great memories of you and Leroy in a place where the Aloha spirit lives on. The Aloha spirit is being kind....so be kind to yourself and go to Maui...
Hoping you are packing your bags and just going.....aloha

Sent by Miriam | 10:02 AM ET | 09-18-2008

I noticed on Labor day the direction of the sun had changed, at the pool, the canopies we use were not as effective. The days are definitely cooler, and those nights what a big change.

I am watching the video from Sundays' celebration. Thank you so much for providing us with that opportunity.

Fall, I love the smell of burning leaves.

Sent by Sue Chap | 10:10 AM ET | 09-18-2008

This was incredibly poetic and moving to read. Thanks for your posts.

Sent by Rachael Seravalli | 10:15 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie - I listened to the entire service for Leroy and now see that the visual version is available as well. What a lovely celebration of life you gave him, and all his friends!
I'm sure everything feels like "now what?" if your heart wants to follow the sun, trust it........
In the meantime, we're all out here praying for you and lifting!

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 10:23 AM ET | 09-18-2008

After watching the video of the memorial service I am struck Leroy's loved ones. His compassionate doctor, his dear friends, how you could think that his nephews were his sons and his sisters.

I am also struck by how beautiful you are, Laurie! (and you too, Laurie Hirth!!!)

Go where your hearts lead you, loved ones. My sister-in-law moved all the way to Italy after my brother died! My Dad, on the other hand, wants to stay put in the house that he and my mother shared.

Do what feels right for you, but don't make and rash decisions. Your feelings are so raw with pain. Take time to mourn before you make big decisions!

And know, Laurie, that you have been blessed - I saw in that room of people lots of love and support. We love and support you too!

I hope we have a warm Indian summer for you, Laurie so your feelings of summer last even longer!

xxoo
1-2-3

Sent by Liz L. | 10:47 AM ET | 09-18-2008

I hope you are able to listen to your heart and follow the sun this year, at least. Even if it's not Maui, go someplace where you can postpone the dreaded long pants awhile longer! I had to laugh at that line; my husband is 72, but he feels the same way you do. We live in northern California, but he insists on wearing shorts year round...his theory is that if your head and upper body are warm, the legs can stay bare without feeling the cold. Brrr!

I woke up in the middle on the night last night and was thinking how much I MISS Leroy.Thank you for posting the beautiful memorial service, NPR. I think of you every day, Laura, and wish you peace. Do whatever feels right to you at this time, and know that you are supported here.

Sent by Doris | 11:41 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie,
I just finished watching the video. Wow! What love there was in that room. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Sent by Natalie | 11:54 AM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie, Colorado this time of year is beautiful. Many Canyons have the changing of the leaves, some rival yours. Home is always a good place to be so California might have what you need. Memories spring from just driving. I do hope whatever you decide to do will help you along with healing, and provide you with some distraction. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:00 PM ET | 09-18-2008

I'm not sure if this goes with today's post but I have been pondering and mulling the following, over the past few weeks.

How does someone help another grieve? Many, many of my friends have lost loved ones this year and I don't know what to do or to say. In a very strange way, it's a lot like when someone has been diagnosed with cancer. What do you say? Do you just talk about the normal stuff -- does it feel like an affront not to mention the death of someone who means so much to your friend? I am so at a loss.

I miss Leroy, but I know my grief is no where near the depth of those who knew him, loved him and shared their lives with him. I am so amazed that you have continued to share yourself with all of us. It has meant a lot to me and I am trying to live some of Leroy's lessons.

Sent by EL | 12:00 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Dear Laurie,

Reading your beautiful post today, that lovely old Beatles' tune immediately came to mind ~

"One day you'll look to see I've gone
For tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun.

Some day you'll know I was the one
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come
and, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know, oh ...

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come
and, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end you will know, oh...

One day you'll find that I have gone
But tomorrow may rain,
so I'll follow the sun."

Wishing you the kiss of sunshine on your face today (knowing it'll be a kiss from Leroy),

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:07 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Indeed, as Liz L notes until you've "made" it a year absolutely no irreversible decisi!!! No home sales, moves -nada! It should be a law! A break from work is always good, if it doesn't feel right, you can always reverse it!

Sent by Lucy Groh from Alaska | 12:29 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Dearest Laurie: You could take the names Laurie & Leroy out of this blog and replace them w/ Robert and Susan and you would have us exactly. We go into shorts around mid May and continue through the end of Sept. Oh how I hate to go back into long pants and sweatshirts.
Please Laurie, keep the blog alive, I really look forward to reading them daily. I am a September person, it's by far my favorite month. Though I don't like to see summer pass, I love Fall.
Robert Sheehan
Bothell, WA

Sent by Robert Sheehan | 1:21 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Dear Laurie:

Oh my goodness...I just sat here at work and watched Leroy's Celebration of Life...probably shouldn't have done that -- way too much sniffling, nose blowing and chuckling going on in my cubicle! It was great to hear/see all Leroy's friends talk about him, laugh at the memories -- oh I sooo wish I had known him, worked with him, partied with him. It would've been fun. And it was so great to meet YOU. I've always wondered -- who is this woman that Leroy loved so much? And just from this brief glimpse of you -- I can see that you were perfect partners in life. I want to tell you, also, that your blogs are just as important and meaningful as Leroy's!! You are helping us walk down that road -- as painful as it may be. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Sent by susan | 1:22 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie, just finished watching the video of the memorial service for Leroy. Thank you, Discovery, and NPR for including us in this tribute to him. It's amazing how someone you never met can become such a part of your life. I appreciate your thoughtfulness of us. Ann

Sent by Ann Bevilockway | 1:54 PM ET | 09-18-2008

"Summer's End: Song for Laurie"

E mbrace connection:
N ight too soon weds itself to
D ay-lit hours,
L ays claim to loss not
E asily accepted,
S haping once-shared
S paces now stilled by absence.

S ense how his presence yet works
U pon you:
M ore than you know,
M ore than he could tell you,
E verthing is brightened in your
R eminders of his love.

From Maureen in Arlington, VA

Sent by Maureen Doallas | 2:05 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Liz L.,
Thanks!
Laurie, I also want to say, you are so beautiful and you could just see the love coming from that room...I loved the bowling shirt with his name on it! What a tribute...Leroy was a lucky man to have you in his life!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 2:34 PM ET | 09-18-2008

The year my husband died, 2006, people said to me on New Year's Eve, "You must be glad this year is over"!

I wasn't. It was the last year he was alive. I didn't want that year to end at all. I did not want a new year that he was not part of.

Sent by Marilyn | 4:00 PM ET | 09-18-2008

1 2 3 Lifting... The Wedge at Newport, the Fun Zone on Balboa Island, the swallows at San Juan Capistrano, fishing for perch off the Oceanside Pier, sailing out to Santa Catalina.... Your memories are your Endless Summer... they can give you warmth during any season of the year, any time of the day or night. Sending thoughts of grunion runs, wood fires on the beaches and the tide pools at Dana Point.

Sent by Stitches | 4:20 PM ET | 09-18-2008

I am an infrequent poster but devoted reader of this blog. Echoing others who have posted today; thanks to NPR for posting the memorial service. I watched today and my husband kept asking me why I was sniffeling and giggling. It was terrific to know more about Leroy's life before this blog and I loved that everyone there was dressed in bright happy colors. What a wonderful celebration of a wonderful man. Live strong Laurie!
Namaste

Sent by Myra | 4:22 PM ET | 09-18-2008

When I opened the blog today, I was struck by the number of posts. It saddened me. Laurie, I can only speak for me but I will be here looking for your daily thought.

We've had rain/snow mix one day and 85 degrees the next. We're trying to finish the mundane (staining the deck) before we have too many 30 degree nights. We love the sun for motorcycling and are hoping to get over Independence Pass before it is closed. Bask in September sun, Laurie, and remember, "the pain now is from the happiness then."

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 5:01 PM ET | 09-18-2008

I watched the tribute today. Leroy was simply an amazing guy. You are beautiful and I know that your love for him was amazing too. Those of us living with cancer and facing death grieve with you.

Sent by Janis | 5:08 PM ET | 09-18-2008

OH MY GOD LAURIE!! why didn't I remember this song sooner! Those Hawaiian shirts in the video did it! I used to go to Maui, Kaua'i and Lana'i all the time. Last night I cried-laughed through the whole video tribute and then the song hit me in the midst of my tears! You must know of the late great Hawaiian musical God; Israel Kawakawiwo'ole and his most famous performance of "Over The Rainbow" The most beautiful interpretation of this song ever. Whenever I have lost a loved one or want to remember that person at a special time I listen to this song. PLEASE everyone, Laurie, Laurie Hirth, Sue Chap, Nikki, Kim, Al, you too Sasha! everyone! listen to this song and shed tears for your broken hearts as it soars to meet him or her over the rainbow!! This is where Leroy is now...PLeeeze listen to this Laurie and go to your love over the rainbow in Hawaii and dream new dreams for your new life out there just like Leroy would want you too. The tears will bring such healing. He is there waiting for you! http://www.youtube.com/watch
v=2A2Jt4WOxN8

"IS" as he was called was the most amazing musician. I will never forget, in 1991, hearing him and his family members playing for a small group of us in the Gym at Lana'i City...UNBELIEVABLE...they all taught us traditional Hawaiian dance as we listened to this huge, huge, 600 plus pound man play this teeny, tiny ukelele. What a beautiful voice and man he was. He was very sweet to me that night in that intimate setting. (although a gym ain't all that intimate!!)

So Laurie, listen, listen to this song in honor of Leroy and where he is right now AND PLAN THAT TRIP!! It is such a wonderful life!! with so much Love - Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 6:05 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Go

Sent by Deb from Georgia | 6:25 PM ET | 09-18-2008

I hope you follow the sun for as long as you need to. But I also believe that the sunlight of your love with Leroy will stay with you even in the midst of winter, even if there is also a "dark night of the soul" to pass through.

Still thinking of you Laurie. And I'm not at all ready for fall either!

Sent by N.R. | 7:24 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie,
I see someone else has already quoted the beatles... but did you know that they wrote "follow the sun" with the inspiration of the sunrise on Maui at mt. haleakala? by the way, one of the beatles owned property on the road to hana (long and winding road, perhaps?).

I think Maui is calling you...

Sent by cancer PT | 7:28 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie,

I understand. Peace and love to you, and may you feel the warmth of our thoughts and prayers for you right now!

Sent by Amy in NJ | 7:31 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Laurie,

It's OK to follow whatever impulses you can afford to/want to. I moved out of our house and into a new condo for a year. Then I moved back into our house.

The downside is that I paid rent and a mortgage for a year. The upside is that it let me A) clean out a bunch of stuff and get rid of it, and B) left the house totally empty so a cleaning crew could come in and clean it top to bottom, which it needed since my attentions had been focused other places besides cleaning.

If you feel the need to escape for a while, I couldn't blame you. Listen to that inner voice.

Sent by Bruce | 8:01 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Summer never came to Alaska this year so I went to meet it in Kauai! I have been reading your blog and kept thinking about your reference to "going to Maui" so I went alone. I've always wanted to go and don't know why I waited for 55 years. So now I'm going to start checking things off my list. Thank you for keeping in touch with all of us...Paula

Sent by paula recchia | 8:05 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Okay, Laurie, I've 'heard' what other people are telling you and I agree: go away on a trip all you want but, PLEASE, don't sell the home, the assets (especially in this economy) or make any major decisions for at least a year!!!

That was probably the best piece of advice I got after Pat was gone. You need those four seasons to lick your wounds before you figure out if you want to change anything in your life. I didn't. I find comfort in my surroundings that include the larger than life Pat. But everyone is different.

EL, you talk from your heart. You ask if the friend is okay, if there's anything you can do to help (and then do it), you tell them you're there for them, you hold their hand and say you're sorry this is in their lives. As a life giver survivor I'm here to tell you that it's the simple, caring thoughts and words that mean the most. Good luck.

Hugs and lifting prayers...

Sent by Kathy Barney from Michigan | 8:58 PM ET | 09-18-2008

Dear Laurie,
Even though we have never met, I think of you daily and send supportive thoughts your way. I haven't been able to watch the video yet because I know it will be too emotional for me. I'm waiting for the right time. Thank you for continuing to write the blog. I know it must be difficult. I just want you to know that it means a lot to me.

Sent by Laura | 10:43 PM ET | 09-18-2008

I lost my husband in August too, 4 years ago. Each year, when I feel that first cool snap, I get a quick flash of anxiety about facing an up-coming winter without him. It doesn't make much sense. I don't live in some extreme location with frightening weather. But that bit of fear surprises me each time. Then I remind myself that I can handle heaters and call repairmen and won't really freeze to death without John.
Another thing that happened a lot in the first year was a brief irrational disappointment when I went to different places we had been before. It was almost as if I thought I'd find him if I kept going to places we'd gone together. I made up my mind to face those head-on. I thought avoiding places we had loved would limit my life into some sort of paralysis.
One other shock has been my long-lasting difficulty with focusing mentally. I think my brain went into some protective survival mode during his illness and stayed that way for a long time. Now, at four years out, I gradually feel some improvement.
It's hard to be reminded of the details of illness, meds, bad news, and heartache, but all the other memories have overshadowed those. They are such a gift. I hope your good memories sustain you too and that you'll find a path that feels right for your future. At first, you'll just wander and survive and that's good enough. Time helps a lot, but I think the healing probably has to be slow. Give yourself time, lots of time.

Sent by Laura | 12:12 AM ET | 09-19-2008

Keep wearing the shorts, as long as you feel like it. I was born in southern California and, except for four years in Massachusetts and three in Berkeley (1965-72), have always lived here. I wore shorts in New England winters, covered with a warm coat, muffler and knit cap, with socks and boots to keep me warm. And if that seems too weird, I also ate and enjoyed Friendly's ice cream in the middle of the winter.
Your memories will overflow, I'm sure. And Leroy's loss at the end of the summer will always be there this time of year. But if you need that 1-2-3 lift, follow the sun and eat ice cream if it helps. Do whatever makes you feel better, to the extent you can, in this time of loss.
We're all still lifting.

Sent by Roz | 1:48 AM ET | 09-19-2008

My wife, Ruth Crawford, who first steered me to this blog, died of cancer on 17th August 2007. My first thought within minutes of her passing was: "I have to get my toes in some sand somewhere." I am still pursuing that thought; it has become a mantra of sorts. I am almost afraid to fulfill the idea for fear of what might happen next. Almost.

I am so sorry for your loss Laurie. Please accept my deepest sympathies. And hang in there. Time will not heal the wound in your heart but you can do it with hard work, a little help from your friends, and an abiding spiritual faith in life as it presents itself to us daily.

Sent by Richard Harrison | 11:15 AM ET | 09-19-2008