Coping With The Holidays

The decorated turkey sugar cookies are cooling on the kitchen counter. We're in the window now ... Thanksgiving is just a few days away.

In our house, this was a huge holiday. We always had a big crowd and an even bigger dinner. Way too much food, but that's always been the theme around here, too.

I always asked our guests to bring a dish that reminded them of childhood Thanksgivings. A cranberry sauce that Mom used to make, or a spinach mousse with 500 grams of fat that probably came from a Betty Crocker cookbook in the days before we counted fat grams.

That was Thanksgiving. Was.

But this isn't about feeling sorry for myself. This is about taking care of myself. And all of us who are facing this holiday season missing someone special.

These guidelines from the Jewish Social Services Agency, the agency that helped Leroy and me in his final days of life, sound reasonable, so I pass them along with a few personal side notes:

They point out that grief affects you physically as well as emotionally. So get plenty of rest and good nutrition.

Keep the traditions that you cannot do without, and alter the ones that overwhelm you with sadness. Add a new tradition that you can build on over the years.

Find a way to remember your loved one during the holidays. I guess reminiscing is a good thing.

Reach out and be with people, so you don't feel isolated. Easier said than done. It applies not just to those of us suffering a loss, but to the life-givers, too.

Be gentle with yourself. By all means, be gentle with yourself.

7:00 AM ET | 11-24-2008 | permalink

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