I'm trying to figure out what happened here in Florida the seven months I was in New Mexico. It's almost like I returned to a political vacuum for anyone under the age of forty.

Here I thought I'd be coming back to a brand new primary that has been pushed ahead to make all this so-called BIG IMPACT on the primary season, and people are flipping coins and reading astrological charts to determine who they are going to vote for.

If they're even going to get up off their beach lounges to vote.

That could be the problem. When coming up with the idea of forwarding the Florida primary to January 29, somebody forgot to tell everyone else that that particular date is dead center of tourist season and some of the best beach weather in the country.

Look. You don't wake up a sun bather and tell them it's time to vote. It just doesn't look like it's working. Don't go bothering those people on the golf courses about politics during a Florida January. Forget the notion of bringing up political issues to someone in the middle of their tennis serve.

Okay, there's still time to get some adrenaline flowing before January 29th. There's also time to get even more indifferent and suntanned. This whole experiment of moving up the primary date has the feel of telling Rip Van Winkle to hit the snooze alarm a little longer.

The Democrats aren't even coming to town. So, it's whatever Republican wants to spend the money in Florida. I guess. Cause it don't look like anyone's watching the advertisements around here. Like, spending political money in Florida is close to a waste of precious expenditures?

Florida doesn't seem to mind which Republican takes over after George Bush leaves office. Nobody's boiling any blood over this. Like one Republican President is as good as the next?

McCain and Rudy are the two most often mentioned names. Whenever someone puts down their pizza long enough to answer who they might vote for if it's not raining on election day.

I got the distinct feeling that moving the primary up to January in Florida is about as effective as another NoDoze for a truck driver whose been on the road for thirty six straight hours.

Yes, the elderly Condo Commandos will vote in droves. Voting is their form of exercise. Greece has the Olympics every four years. Florida Condo Commando elederly have a vote every four years. Long as their is an Otis Elevator repair outfit ready to keep the elevators running, the elderly vote will happen.

Anyone who is still capable of walking down to the beach is still a crap shoot if they're going to even bother.

Well, maybe it'll rain election day. Shrug. And car pools will have coolers full of Coronas.

fred camorra call

Sent by fred camorra call | 6:51 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Florida Politics 101:

Even though the Democrats say they are ignoring Florida, the Republicans aren't, and there are three types of elderly voters who are the main target for any politiican hoping to accrue Florida's prodigious electoral votes.

There's elderly white voters.

There's elderly black voters.

There's elderly Cuban voters.

Now, the difference between white and black elderly voters is that blacks still predominately live in single family homes. while white elderly voters live in condos.

Hence, if you put a voting booth in the lobby of a condo complex, and the elevators are working, you got yourself a big conglomeration of white votes.

Whereas Barack's people still have to go door to door seeking votes.

as for the Cuban elderlyl voters, just hold up a large photograph of Castro and step out of the way as they vote en masse GOP.

Elderly GOP Cuban voters with baseball bats can easily outpace elderly democrats with walkers and canes. That's pretty much what beat Al Gore.

So, the question on my mind is whether Barack's people can enegize the black Florida voters. My gut feeling is that while the other Democrats are supposedly boycotting Florida, Barck would be smart to get his Sunshine State bandwagon going.

Other than that, most of the news around here is about Bill Parcell's hiring every coach who ever worked for him in New York, New England and Dallas. In essesnce, Parcell's is going to be coach of the Dolphins without ever stepping on the sidelines.

Parcell's name is more familiar in Florid right now than any of the candidates. Lat night's South Carolina debate brought out the refrain, "What? another one? When will these debates ever end?"

And, "With everyone debating, who's taking care of business in Washington?"

Ah, well. Another weekend of tourist season and football playoffs.

I don't think it was a good idea for Florida to move it's primaries up into tourist season.

fred camorra call

Sent by fred camorra call | 12:07 PM ET | 01-11-2008