NPR: Where Were You During the Great Bisexual Panic of 2003?

Where Were You During the Great Bisexual Panic of 2003?

Today's calm and reasoned Sex & Sexuality segment on bisexuality is a far cry from the dominant media take on bisexuality just a few years ago. For those of you with elephantine media memories, 2003 was the year most stories about people who love both genders could be summarized in an all-caps exclamation: "DOWN LOW MEN ARE GIVING OUR WOMEN AIDS!!!" Fueled by a several-thousand-word, August of 2003 expose in the New York Times called "Double Lives on the Downlow," tales of black DL men seemed to be everywhere that year and the next, this despite the fact that, as gay activist Keith Boykin would put it in an interview with Farai, "almost everything we've been told about the down low in recent years is wrong."

As Boykin explained in a posting on his blog:

Much of the discussion about the down low recently has portrayed women as "victims" of black men. Framing the issue this way disempowers women from the ability to protect themselves, reinforces negative stereotypes about black men and encourages an unhealthy battle of the sexes in the black community.

The media machine behind the down low business (and it is a business) has tried to exploit women's fears about the DL in order to make a quick buck. But fear is not the answer. Education is. Knowledge is power, and all women and men need to know the truth.

The high-water mark of DL hysteria was likely a 2005 Oprah interview where author Terry McMillan confronted her gay ex-husband Jonathan Plummer, a segment that mixed celebrity, gossip, DL-intrigue and the sad dissolution of a marriage into one, slightly sensationalistic package. Since then, stories about the DL have largely been of the "is he, or isn't he" variety, with consideration of how bisexual people might actually live falling by the wayside.

But take a listen to our segment and decide for yourself. Is bisexuality "the new closet"as Boykin puts it, or is it a sexual identity unto itself as today's guest Jennifer Baumgardner asserts? Much of our own conversation in the newsroom about this segment centered on whether or not society views bisexual women as more "acceptable" (or is that more titillating?), whereas bisexual men are a threat, imagined (in our community, at least) as eager to sleep with everyone - women of other races, other men - except black women. Do you think that's the case? Let us know!

(And please: don't post gossip about which celebrity or rapper you are 1000% percent sure is bi, this because, well, let's say you know. Save that for the gossip blogs, or, barring that, your memoirs!)

Gary Dauphin

5:38 PM ET | 05-30-2007 | permalink

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From my perspective as a bisexual man I've always found it unfair how bisexual women seem to have it much better(or easier) than bisexual men in our straight male owned and operated society. I've attributed this to the "titillating" (to use your term) nature the idea of two women sleeping together has on the straight male. After the Jennifer Baumgardner segment and now reading her book I now realize that, more than ever, bisexuals of both genders deal with the same discrimination and misunderstanding from both the gay and straight communities. So much of what Baumgardner says and writes are true to my own life experience, and confirms my suspicion that the gender differences only really matter to a society that really has trouble understanding and accepting bisexuality for a very basic, natural, and harmless aspect of human nature.

I think harmless is a particularly important aspect of this discussion as I certainly don't feel that I'm a threat to anyone. In fact, I've always felt quite the opposite in that it was society that threatened my very existence as who I am by trying to tell me that I was gay because I am sexually attracted to men as well as women. "How can so many people not understand, " I found myself asking time and time again. It is so basic to me. I've never cheated on anyone I've been in a relationship with, and I've come to find out over the years that every woman I've been in a serious relationship with is also bisexual. Unknown to me at the time I think it is far more than a coincidence that I've also been attracted to bisexual people most of my life, and not one of them ever felt threatened by me.

Thankfully I missed the bisexual scare of 2003, but fear always accompanies a lack of understanding. Hopefully over time Jennifer Baumgardner and many others will help more people to understand that a diversity of sexual choice is a natural, basic, and harmless aspect of a healthy and diverse society.

Sent by J | 5:30 PM ET | 05-31-2007

I have been in a serious relationship with a bisexual man for the past 2 1/2 years. When we first started dating I was warned by my gay male friends and my straight friends that it was a inadvisable relationship to pursue; it would just be more difficult than it's worth.

I struggled with the decision for a long time. I'm really glad that I chose to "risk" it because, as he pointed out, every relationship hits a point where it's a leap of faith and you have to decide to just trust the other person. There are no guarantees and, although he is attracted to both men and women, that doesn't mean he's more likely to cheat on me than a straight man. I've come to accept, although admittedly not fully understand, who he is and I couldn't be happier that I did.

Bisexuality is just another challenge, once again, to keep an open mind to things we don't understand yet.

Sent by CW | 6:06 PM ET | 06-05-2007

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