by Geoffrey Bennett

Chris Rock
Larry Marano, Getty Images

Comedian Chris Rock performs at Hard Rock Live held at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.

Chris Rock, who appears on the April 2008 cover of Rolling Stone, explains why this election season has been a godsend: "Black guy runnin' for president against a woman — it's tailor-made for me," he says.

The magazine offers an excerpt of his newest material — which has been cleaned up for reprinting on our blog:

"Bush has [messed up] so bad that he's made it hard for a white man to run for president. 'Gimme anything but another white man, please! Black man, white woman, giraffe, anything!' A white man's had that job for hundreds of years — and one guy [messed] it up for all of ya! ... Each candidate tells you how humble they are. No, you're not humble! Do you know how big your ego has to be to say you wanna be president of the United States? Do you know how much Puff Daddy juice you have to drink? How many Kanye injections you have to take? ... Barack Obama — he's a black man with two black names! Barack. Obama. He doesn't let his blackness sneak up on you. As soon as you hear Barack Obama you wonder, 'Does he have a spear?' ... He's so cool, too, man. I don't think he realizes he's a black candidate! When you're the only black guy doing something, people expect you to take it up a notch. If you're the only black playing basketball with a bunch of white guys — they expect you to dunk! ... Barack has a handicap the other candidates don't have: Barack Obama has a black wife. And I don't think a black woman can be first lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it! A black woman can be president, no problem. First lady? Can't do it. You know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you're president? 'Honey, I did it! I won! I'm the president.' 'No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be secretary of state! She can fight!' "