Booze certainly won't help you fulfill your dream of playing in the World Cup, but, whether it be for joyful toasting or teary-eyed commiserating, many soccer fans are going to need some alcohol.
But what to drink during what match? Surely it's sacrilege to swill, say, vodka during a German game, or Jägermeister during a French game. Just as, no matter who's playing, it's always offsides to order a cocktail with Red Bull in it. Show Me Your Cleats is here to help, comrade. Read on and drink up!
Cord Jefferson is a staff writer for The Root and a frequent contributor to The Awl.