A colleague turned me on (no pun... you know) to the New York Review of Books personals today. These are some high-falutin folks, and my absolute favorite is the dark haired beauty who describes herself as: "Sparkling eyes, worldly intellect. Classic 1940s movie star good looks — think Olivia de Havilland transported to 21st century." There are so many sites geared toward specific types: from the grand-yenta of all, J-Date, all the way to Afro Connections. I wish I could start one that made people describe themselves entirely based on old movies. "Lips of a Garbo, heart of a Crawford..." "Think Clark Gable — without an undershirt." I know who I'd (wishfully) be. Why did you join a specific dating site over another? Do you think it's acceptable that sites like Eharmony screen so heavily?
I moved to a small town and started online dating. My experience ran the gamut...one guy after three weeks of long distance calling thought he should be able to stay at my house...as much as it is important to get out there and not let the emailing and phone conversations drag out, women need to be careful and cautious, as with any situation in dating. People think it's not safe, but after being introduced to someone via a friend (what you would think would be safe) I found out he was dating online...in SEVERAL STATES. He would change his screen name and location to meet women in other places....so, there is no safety.
Photos don't have to be seen just as a marketing tool for sizing up people's physical structure. They are often the closest indication of chemistry. I get a strong sense of how I feel about the person pictured. Kindness, sneakiness, or openness shows in people's eyes. Is the radiance around their face electric? Do they beam with exuberance and buoyance? Or are they more shy, careful and reserved? This shows in the way they hold their energy in -- how tense or free their smile is. Do they give off a soft glow -- a sign of a gentle person? Do their eyes shimmer with the signs of an animated mind? How much depth shows in their eyes -- how many hard times have they survived that deepened them? Signs of what is inside show on the outside. A good way to avoid superficial cheaters just looking for flings is to not post a full-body photo. You can tell a lot about a person from the energy radiating around their expression.
For people who have been through difficult relationships, online dating is a good way to start the process safely and slowly. Sometimes people who have been abused fall under the sway of other people easily, especially in their presence. The distance of the Internet protects such people from falling into the same unhealthy pattern again. If they do fall for a dominator, they've only opened themselves up to chat and can easily disengage. This way, they can also learn how to pick up on signs that indicate dominators. Such people may expose their ways more freely online than in person, because they also are protected from detection.
i met my boyfriend of three years on the personals of theonion.com. I figured anyone on there would have the same sense of humor as me. I was right. He makes me laugh more than anyone else.


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