Convicted pedaphiles and sexual offenders should be sentenced to life in prison without parole. These people cannot be rehabilitated (their sexual identity is as a pedahile/predator) and the threat to society is too great to risk letting them live outside of a controlled and contained environment.

Chela (rhymes with "fella")
Beaverton, OR

Sent by Chela | 2:19 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Listening to your show on educator sex abuse brings back so many frightening memories for me. I graduated highschool in 1983 and remember many, many incidents of inappropriate relationships between teachers and students. On photography teacher had his hand slapped for taking nude photographs of a sophomore student. He continued to work as a teacher at our school. Another teacher (of psychology) got a student pregnant (she was 17 and he was in his 30s). He was allowed to continue to work at the school. I was solicited by my advanced placement English teacher. He asked me to go camping with him, and regularly commented on my body, looks, and intelligence in an effort to lure me. I reported this to the administration, and nothing was done. I am glad to see this topic being addressed. Remembering these incidents makes me feel very distraught. I realize I never felt I could trust any of my male teachers and this no doubt affected the education I received. I am a mother of 2 daughters will do everything I can to ensure that they are not exposed to the same things.

Sent by Kathryn | 2:25 PM ET | 11-27-2007

When I was a teacher, I went to a my principal about my suspicions regarding another middle school teacher who was grooming female students. She listened, but did nothing. 3 months later, when he was arrested on 3 counts of child molestation, I went to her again. She said, "how was I to know." She did not know that I knew that 4 of us had gone to her. That principal is now an assistant superintendent in the district.

School districts do pas teachers on to other districts and cover themselves. You cannot rely on the school to keep your kid safe. You have to educate them and be involved so that you know ALL the teachers.

David

Sent by David | 2:36 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I'm interested to know how someone should begin the process of taking legal or criminal action against a teacher for sex abuse when there is a significant time lapse between the offenses and the victims ability to cope with and report the abuse.

In my case, it has been about 20 years since the abuse. I recently feel more compelled to act on this abuse as a result of having children of my own. I also feel that I'm older and better equiped mentally to deal with this siutation. Where do I begin? Who can I turn to? How can I assure that the cycle is not being repeated by this person again?

Sent by anonymous | 2:40 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Neil Cohen just said a singularly stupid thing which seems perfectly reasonable on its face: "Rape is rape." Well sure, rape is rape when one defines rape, as I think one should, as coerced sexual congress when unwilling victim. But when one expands rape to include consensual sexual conduct, even between legal adults, as the guest would have it, rape is certainly not rape. What idiocy to equate two such disparate acts.

Sent by Sam Rutherford | 2:42 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Educators would do well to listen to the gossip of their students regarding inappropriate teacher behavior - I was a 15 year old Phoenix-area high school student in the mid-seventies, and the behavior of the teacher that targeted and pursued me constantly was not lost on the other students in my class. There was a great deal of talk about what other witnessed, and the situation had gotten very close to out of control before one other teacher began to worry about what she was hearing. Ultimately my pursuer was asked to leave that school, but I understand he has gone on to many other positions in the Arizona school system, and has probably molested God-knows how many other female students by now....

Sent by Cristi, Denver | 2:47 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I am listening from Munich, Germany as I study for a semester here. My Mother and Father are both Educates in Minnesota Public Schools. One is a Principal and the other is a Superintendent. My parents occasionally must deal with sexual abuse issues. These issues disturb them greatly, never the less they handle these situations very seriously, often firing and revoking the teacher in questions license after an investigation. They often call districts in the area warning of these peoples previous actions. We must remember that the majority of teachers are unbelievably good at what they do and are completely professional.

Sent by Stanley Mack | 2:47 PM ET | 11-27-2007

As a teacher I have been suspicious of fellow teachers male and female of close relationships with students,especially those that married their students right after graduation however, we need to remember that people that abuse children will insert themselves into any position that gives them proxcemity to children, this includes medical, counseling, all levels of education whatever it takes.

Sent by Michele johnson | 2:48 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I think it's important to remember that it isn't just children who can be groomed and abused by educators. I've known at least one young person of college age who was so enchanted with a college administrator/educator. Unfortunately, this educator was involved in some very nefarious activities and was quite a few years older than this young woman. Their "relationship" went far beyond the mentor/mentee level. This woman became so dependent on this educator that she eventually moved in with his family and would not associate with many people beyond this educator and his wife. Although she was of the age of consent, it was clear that the relationship was not at all appropriate.

Sent by J.P. Thomas | 2:49 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I am concerned with the last caller's comment about the strictness of her schools rules about guests. How much would you be willing to pay at a private school to keep your child and everyone elses child safe from one instance of abuse? Would that be work the extra $100-300s a year? Why would you try to put a price tag on it?

Sent by Sean | 2:51 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Please do not use the email address, it is my daughter's

I have worked with children for 30 years in many venues (including w/ adolescents in a psych. ward. The people who are morally responsible for any child abuse are the adults. I have been trained over and over to beleive the child no matter how outrageous to accusations. Then speak to the legal athourity. If that does not result in action , confront the accused with a superior or law present.

As adults no child deserves to be abused...for any reason including too expensive to pursue crimminal checks, training or anything that may prevent one child from abuse.

Kathleen

Sent by Kathleen Fitzpatrick | 2:53 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I grew up next door to a family of four boys and one girl. Over the years the father, a doctor, and the sons "practiced" (sexually) on their sister/daughter. None of the adults, including my own parents, paid any attention to what was going on. I recently learned that one of the boys became a school principle and is now a school superintendent...I also learned that he has four daughters who he refers to as "his harem". I feel a responsibility to do or say something...but I have no idea what is right or appropriate...since the original abuse took place over 35 yrs. ago...and I have no way of knowing if abuse continued outside of the home.

Sent by Mary | 2:54 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I'm wondering if your guests have heard about the Virtrus Training program. My child is in a Catholic school, and all adults who interact with the students are required to be trained as your guests have encouraged. I was shocked when I went through the training. I learned quite a bit about how to spot an abuser. Our children are also going through a program. I am very pleased with the training

Sent by Shannan | 2:54 PM ET | 11-27-2007

The topic is a really important one, especially as it pertains to males. I mentor a 15 year old male who reported to me that while nothing ever happened to him physically, his eigth grade school principal would flirt with him over the telephone. They would talk for hours. She would buy him expensive gifts, take him on trips, tell him how mature he is and how well he talks, etc. How do we speak with young males about this topic, especially when it's seen as a feat (a cool thing) or a status symbol to get with (or hook up with) a very pretty teacher. What really concerns me is that if another really pretty/ popular teacher tries to
seduce or temp him into having inappropriate relations with her, he would go for it. How do I speak with him about this and let him know that it's inappropriate and plainly not right?

Sent by mark | 3:14 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Why is Neil beating up on the woman who made Megan's killer public? The woman deserves to be known.

Sent by Peter | 3:16 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I just wanted to mention my story, one of positive/highly beneficial mentorship. Most of my time after highschool was spent with a man twice my age (15/30). Looking back, it contained non of the sexual darkness assumed by observers (including my parents). Though I think there concerns were well founded, in the end... it was all good. Everyone including my fiancee, family and friend can see that now.
The one point I intend to add is how the effect of role models and mentors can be such a good thing for a young, impressionable person. This effect is not found in school, at home, or with same age peers as far as I can tell. I'm almost 30 now, Bob and his wife are best friends of mine (she came into the picture long after me) and I probably would've never learned how great NPR is had it not been for him.
Thanks

Sent by John | 3:18 PM ET | 11-27-2007

My preschool-aged child was abused. The result of this abuse has meant that he is unable to sleep without medication, grinds his teeth, and suffers from horrible nightmares. He now trusts some adults but tends to mistrust most people. He had been such a happy child. The school claimed that it never heard anything from us concerning the issue, but I had saved copies of the registered letters I had sent. The police were helpful and believed that abuse had happened but were unable to "substantiate" the case unless we were willing to let our son undergo approx 35 hours of forensic interviews. He was emotionally unable to withstand this. We had to stop the process . He is doing better. I now homeschool my children.

Sent by K., | 3:21 PM ET | 11-27-2007

It's very easy to say that you can't rehabilitate sex offenders and that this is their sexual identity. I say, you can't say that until you've made a concerted effort to actually deal with the problem. No one talked about parental sex abuse until about 15 years ago, and no one talked about institutional sex abuse until about 10 years ago. It has been clearly demonstrated that many if not most pedophiles were abused themselves and have never been told this was not acceptable behavior. We think this is so blindingly obvious, but our closest relatives, bonobo chimpanzees have all kinds of illicit and "disgusting" sex with all aged individuals. When the churches and the schools and the parents and the lawmakers and the communities actually make an effort to educate people about sex, sexual health, and healthy sexual relationships, then I really think we'll see a big difference in society. Howard Dean instituted parental education classes which reduced child sexual abuse in Vermont during his tenure by 75%. The idea that simple education can have that much of an impact really calls into question the idea that this is an unsolvable problem.

It's really easy to say "lock them up and throw away the key," and having been molested myself, I have a great deal of sympathy for that sentiment. But we must define our community on fact and not emotion. It is all of our jobs as a whole community to take responsibility for the healthful education of our society.

Sent by pw | 3:32 PM ET | 11-27-2007

What a testimony to the power of radio (public radio in particular) that a listener spoke today --- the first time of his experience of abuse by his school teacher decades ago. Radio is both personal and intimate and somewhat removed. I do hope that the caller finds himself a therapist in his town soon. This call also makes clear how important the topic and the medium is for all who have the opportunity to take it in. To hear him was powerful for me. My experience with sexual transgressions by a trusted adult occurred decades ago. This is an important discussion to have. The work of Judith Herman MD, the Boston Globe regarding the rampant clergy-abuse and cover up, among others contribute to growing acceptance among many that these experiences were frequent, even 40-50 years ago. Please consider another time for a similar topic. Thank you

Sent by PMoo | 4:15 PM ET | 11-27-2007

I have a sense of shame myself for my son who was molested for a couple of years while in junior high by a VERY popular music teacher who directed all of the community plays. He was a personal friend of many of us, some of whom had sons he befriended. He was accused by one of the boys finally and nobody believed it. We defended him. Our children rallied around him. It was pitiful how we supported this man through his trial. Then he was only sentenced to probation and not supposed to have anything to do with minors. Hah, 30 years later, I know where he is. He's teaching again at a college in Missouri. Our son told us finally after 10 years that it had all been true but he was too ashamed. High school was hell for us with him acting out. Oh, the other boys he molested--I wonder if they've ever been able to get over it too. Our son did, and has been able to talk about it, hate the man for what he took away from him, but throw that hate away from his own life and be a loving and gentle man who has a loving wife and two great kids. He can now talk openly about it without shame, guilt or hatred. I, though, still feel my shame at not rescuing my son during that time.

Sent by Carol | 4:21 PM ET | 11-27-2007

What a powerful show, thank you. I finally am dealing with sexual abuse of several teachers, a guidance counselor, an orthodontist, all in positions of power over children. This began 34 years ago, it took me almost three decades to come to terms with it, to shed the guilt and shame. The aspect of shame cannot be underestimated. I have recently decided to "hand back" the shame, literally. My worst abuser has no idea I have come to this stage in life, he is thinking he is still my "friend". I am going to hand him an envelope marked SHAME, and inside it will be a description of what I have dealt with all these years. I will tell him he now needs to carry the shame that was rightfully his, that I am not carrying it anymore, nor am I keeping his secret anymore. For all of those of us who are victims/survivors, we cannot be the only one that person abused. We were never to blame, they were.

Sent by B | 8:19 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Thank you for today's topic on Educator Sex Abuse. I am also a silent victim of abuse by my private music teacher/mentor/friend/father figure. I have now spent the majority of my adult life trying to understand, cope, and heal from the debilitating, long lasting effects that the sexual abuse caused. Although through therapy I have gained a deeper understanding of my situation, it is immensely helpful to hear that people (including myelf) are now more aware of the grooming process, the sexual misconduct, and the detrimental aftermath. It is yet another step closer to feeling understood, validated, and emotionally healthy. Thank you.

Sent by Lydia | 2:39 AM ET | 11-28-2007

Sexual misconduct in schools is certainly not limited to educators and staff. Two years ago, my daughters, then 5 and 7 years old, were molested repeatedly by an 11 year old boy on the school bus. They were targeted not because they were weak or vulnerable, but because they were assigned in a bus seat with him, and couldn't stop things without causing a lot attention to be drawn to them. This went on on for between 1 to 8 weeks of school before the kids (thankfully) blurted it out to us. We worked with the school and police, pressed charges, went to court and worked hard to make sure he was convicted of several felony counts, had required counseling, and was not allowed to be with young children without an adult present. We also worked to change the bus seating policy to make sure that children are not assigned to sit with others so much older. I feel certain that, had they not been assigned to sit with him, they would have changed seats and not continued to let him abuse them. (Although I never thought they would have waited so long to tell us in the first place.) We've worked hard to talk things through so that they try to stop any future abuse, and don't ever wait so long to tell us if anything like this happens in the future. The school worked with us fairly well, but were very uncooperative when they were "protecting" his right to privacy. One morning, when waiting to find out if he was expelled or would be allowed to return to school after his initial suspension, I had to "camp out" at the school to protect my kids because school officials refused to tell me if he was at school that day or not. We have since found out that he had abused a younger male cousin, had been abused himself, and had attempted to abuse two other children the day we found out and the girls did not take the bus. Our goal was to make this a blip in their childhood, and not a defining moment. But we also have to talk about it so that they know how wrong this is and will speak out at the moment if someone ever tries to violate them again. I know this discussion focused mostly on teachers, but we have to look at all parts of a child's day. Thanks for the topic and the discussion.

Sent by Beth, NC | 9:31 AM ET | 11-28-2007

When I was in high school in the early 80's there was a young, attractive male teacher at our school. I never saw him behave in an inappropriate manner, but the girls were horrible around him. They flirted with him constantly. He had a wife and young child. About 2 years later he quit teaching and I think it was because he felt so uncomfortable in this situation. He was a good teacher. I think he left because it is so easy to be accused of something and have your life destroyed, especially when young girls or boys feel rejected.

Sent by Wanda | 10:32 AM ET | 11-28-2007

I think it's strange to consider the backlash against students who report abuse. I witnessed a teacher touching a classmate, then later the girl crying in the hallway to another student. +-The teacher was a popular coach and the incident happened shortly before district competition. Once the story worked its way around school after the teacher was suspended both me and the other girl were the center of a lot of resentment. I remember another girl blaming us for performing poorly in the competition because we lost our coach.

Sent by Heather | 10:38 AM ET | 11-28-2007

It is important to point out that problems like this do not just reside at the high school and elementary level. College students although of legal and consenting age are also victims of abuse. What makes this more significant and devastating is the fact that these students are also faced with circumstances that their professors can exert certain pressures on them not to report their misdeeds. The fear of being kicked out of school, failing classes, loss of respect, future job prospects, etc all come into play when faced with these decisions. Universities and colleges must take steps to prevent situations such as these from taking place.

Sent by h finley | 1:27 PM ET | 11-28-2007

Comments like "Most teachers and school administrators are trustworthy and would not harm your child" and "Abuse can happen to anyone's child, even heads of fortune 500 companies" seem to point out one of the major reasons for continuing abuse.

We seem to be too focused on a person's standing or position in the community. Why should WHO the person is that's being accused be a factor at all? Isn't WHAT has or hasn't happened more important?

It is already established that many teachers and other education professionals abuse children, it is a poor defense to state that someone wouldn't commit abuse BECAUSE they are an educator. Just as poor to say that a child is probably fabricating because, well, he/she is a child. Or that an janitor is more likely guilty because he is not an educated professional. (Does education = equal morality?)
Relying on a persons position or profession concerning likelihood of guilt is seriously flawed, using that criteria priest should be the least likely of all professions to be guilty, and church administrators the most likely to demand truth and eventual justice.

It is probably more logical to suspect an educator of being a pedophile than, for instance, a mailman, a garbage collector, or a construction worker.
Stating the obvious; pedophiles naturally gravitate towards professions that have close contact with children. If the truth were allowed we should probably not be surprised to find out that there is a much higher percentage of pedophiles in the educational society than in the rest of society as a whole.

Expecting educational administration to act on allegations of abuse is like asking the fox to guard the chickens. It is obvious from the many cases that are covered up and later uncovered to expose tens and even hundreds of rapes and abuses that many are more concerned with the reputation of the system, (and their own), than the welfare of the children that we believe they are charged with protecting. Again, look at the leadership of the Catholic church as an example.

Anyone who suspects that a child is being abused should report it, not only to the administration of the institute, but also to law enforcement. Waiting for an administrator to investigate, and to act, may very well be exposing more children to abuse.

There are many many good people teaching, and most of those people are wise enough NOT to put themselves in a position of suspicion. Is any adult that is not aware of the potential for suspicion, or temptation of inappropriate contact with a child really qualified to be an education professional?
Why do we continue to be more concerned with the tender egos and undeserved reputations of so called "professionals" than we are the health and future of our children?

Sent by David | 2:24 PM ET | 11-28-2007

During Tuesday's show, I believe it was Mr. Shoop who commented that targetted children go beyond the stereotypical needy children and can include children of university presidents and Fortune 500 CEOs. Unfortunately, Mr. Shoop chose another stereotype...many would say that the children of high-powered, busy people are neglected and wanting adult attention...just what a teacher can provide. His point was well-taken, but he gave poor examples.

Sent by MGH | 7:49 PM ET | 11-28-2007

I am a former teacher, and at the last elementary school where I taught, I was amazed and repulsed by the numbers of young female teachers who insisted on wearing thongs that rode above their waistbands. They were teaching impressionable children, yet they dressed as if they were going to a nightclub.

One young, somewhat attractive teacher enhanced her looks with a boob job over spring break. She came back to school sporting cleavage-revealing tops and thongs that showed above her low-rider pants. Naturally the fifth grade boys she taught didn't complain. "She's hot!" is all they could say.

Several parents complained to the dufus principal, who did nothing--she was his party-girl drinking buddy.

I can't help thinking that teachers wearing revealing and sexually suggestive clothing in front of students is treading dangerously close to sexual harassment and/or abuse. I always wanted to go to the media about it, but was afraid I'd be branded as jealous, which certainly wasn't the case. Her clothes were just too much for children at school.

After that same tarty teacher and dumb jock principal pushed me out of the education field, I really wished I'd had the time and the money to file a lawsuit against both of them, as well as the school system that lets such behavior occur on a daily basis. I'm disgusted by what passes for teachers, these days!

Sent by Beth Mason | 8:53 PM ET | 11-28-2007

I'm a 43 year old man and I was molested in 7th/8th grade by a teacher at my alternative school (Summit) in Seattle. I was a 13yo kid with a critical heart problem and I think this teacher targeted me because I was sick and vulnerable. I remember being racked with guilt to the point where I couldn't sleep for days. So finally one night I just went down and told my dad. It was a different time then because today he would have been right on the phone to the authorities. This was in 1979, and dad asked me if i wanted him to expose it. I'm sure I said no, so he said, I should call the teacher myself, (this guy had become a family friend of sorts) and I did--though he remained my teacher for another year.

Later, in the 90's I called this guy (the abuser) after I saw him by chance on a local newscast. He actually was working for Govenor Lowry and was in the background of a shot. It was interesting, I called the governors office and he answered the phone. He did call me back from home and was very sorry, said he had had a personal struggle with his pedophelia. Apparently, he had been sued by some other students, which also apparently the school district had known about. I suppose the thing that really sticks with me is that the district guy I talked to afterwards basically gave me no option for going forward. He was very sympathetic and apparently knew all about this person and his history. he (the district guy) assured me that the teacher was no longer teaching and they knew all about the situation, and knew about the lawsuits although he could not disclose any information..

Recently, my wife (who has her own history of abuse) was looking on these sexual offender lists you can see online. She asked me if I had ever thought to look for my abuser. So I did, and there he was, staring back glumly. The thing said his whereabouts were unknown but in Whatcom county. I have no real desire to confront this person anymore, I feel I did that. Nor do I particularly want to sue the district though lord knows some compensation would be nice. but, I do have the nagging feeling that this person is probably still abusing. When I knew him, he had adopted three sons who were maybe in the 6-8 yo range. Adults now, obviously.

Now, I have a twelve year old son of my own and I've been trying to walk a fine line of not making him distrustful of men who take an interest in him. But it is a very fine line. he has been receiving special attention from a male volunteer at school and I went so far to call his teacher about it. I think it is fine but it still concerns me. The terrible thing about this with men and boys is that boys seem to be targeted mostly at an age when they are sexually awakening and it has a very profound emotional impact.

As an adult I have had trouble with substances and deppression, but honestly I can't say it is the childhood abuse. Then again, maybe it is a factor. Anyway I've managed to have very loving relationships and have no recurring thoughts about the abuse. I guess, my real inclination is to be pissed off at cowardly men like this in general, and not so much my particular abuser.

Anyway, that's my story. I found it very hard to listen to this show. Its too painful. but I appreciate your covering the subject. The main thing I would say to close, is, its important not to make kids paranoid and mistrustful and cynical. Yet, of course we HAVE to find a way to protect them.

DA

Sent by David | 10:59 PM ET | 11-28-2007

thank you neil,
thanks for shedding some light on this issue...I was abducted and raped when I was 8years old.I hope you do some more work on this subject.

Sent by Julian Colella | 2:29 PM ET | 11-29-2007

When I was in High School in the mid-80s I was at an after school club meeting attended by about 7 girls and 1 boy. Somehow the topic of sexual misconduct by teachers came up, and it turns out EVERY girl in the room (including myself) had had an inappropriate encounter with a teacher, ranging from inappropriate comments to molestation. The majority of the encounters involved some kind of touching. There were at least 4 different teachers that were the perpetrators. All had been teaching for a long time. I don't think anything happened to any of them - I don't know if any of us told anyone, but some victim had to at some point. That is how prevalent this problem is and continues to be.

Sent by Terry | 10:20 AM ET | 11-30-2007

This is a wonderful program shedding light on a huge problem. I helped pass Masha's Law last year so every victim of a childhood sex crime can obtain civil legal justice in federal court with a minimum $150,000 statutory damages. While the law is not perfect, finally child sex crime victims have a remedy.

Sent by James R. Marsh, Esq. | 1:43 PM ET | 11-30-2007

During the conversation a comparison was made regarding adult women engaging in sexual activity with teenage boys and adult men engaging in sexual activity with teenage girls.
The two cannot be compared. The damage done to a young girl because she was taken advantage of by an adult male can be devastating. The same cannot be said about a the same situation in reverse.
Young men view sex and thier sexuality very different from young women as such the damage is not done to young boys.

Sent by Kyle Harrison | 4:07 PM ET | 11-30-2007

Kyle.
I agree, and the reason for this is the sexual abuse our culture perpetrates on women and how they must behave and how they must preserve themselves.

However, to say that young men cannot be violated by older women is a bit strong.

Sent by pw | 2:14 PM ET | 12-03-2007

I strongly disagree with these last two comments. I have several male friends who were severely damaged by the sexual abuse they endured. This is ignorance and justification.

Please DO NOT perpetuate this dangerous, damaging point of view. Our boys deserve to be protected, just like our girls.

Sent by Teri Engelmann | 10:31 PM ET | 06-03-2008