Gobble, Gobble

For better or worse, even on vacation, I follow the news.

Just over a week ago, I was on the beach, facing the cold Atlantic, reading the Vineyard Gazette. A headline instantly caught my attention: "One Wild Turkey, Four Gunshots Lead to Three Assault Charges." Here is how the story began:

An aggressive and combative wild turkey was shot and killed by a Chilmark police officer last Sunday after it reportedly attacked two people dropping off rental baby equipment at a home on Old Ridge Hill Road and then briefly held them hostage inside their delivery van.

I read on.

Although the full-grown male turkey met a quick demise after being shot four times by a Chilmark police officer, the drama continues for Chilmark resident Jonathan Haar. He faces criminal charges after he reportedly became enraged after learning the turkey had been killed and attacked the responding officers.

Mr. Haar told police he had fed the turkey, who he had named Tom, since it was an orphaned chick. After learning that Tom had been killed, he reportedly rushed patrolman Jeffrey Day and special officer Matthew Gebo and struck them several times with a closed fist.

It was great fun to follow the story as it developed. As the Gazette's reporter pointed out, the incident became the brunt of many bad jokes: "'Are you serving hot turkey sandwiches today?' asked one diner at a Vineyard Haven eatery Saturday afternoon. 'My wife likes white meat and I like the dark meat, but we'll just take something without gunpowder.'"

Now, back to the grindstone. I have articles about Iraq to read!