Is That A Spider In Your Pants? Tales Of Lives With Phobias

As I've gotten older, fear has grown. It feels so weird to have a flash of fear when I know rationally something can't hurt me. I love snow skiing but get vertigo on the lift. Pictures of views from high buildings or vantage points send a wave of nausea. I'm terrified of "the deceased" at viewings. So silly but so real.

Sent by Patti Walsh | 3:17 PM ET | 08-14-2008

I am not at all comfortable with a crowd of people, especially where I cannot get to a clear area quickly. Being short, I often cannot see my way out of a room, so I always make sure I know exactly where the exits are.
I DO go to live music shows and dance, but if the dance floor gets crowded, I make sure I'm in the front row by the stage or I move my way to the outer rims of the dancers into a less crowded space.
If I cannot get out of the center of a crowd, I have to talk myself out of or else ride through a full blown panic attack...
voices get jarbled, the sound gets louder and softer, like somebody turning up and down the volume, and it feels like I'm sinking into a hole where I am sure I'll just be buried... but nobody else has any idea!

Sent by Cat in Portage Lakes Ohio USA | 3:17 PM ET | 08-14-2008

I have to tell you that I used to be terrified of hair dressers. I would have panic attacks and I could never explain this fear! But I remembered recently that when I was younger my mother would tell me a story about how when she'd gone to the hairdresser the for first time they ruined her hair. I suppose this fear developed by listening to my mom's story. I finally got over it when I got married. My little brother held my hand at the hair dresser's and I finally relaxed

Sent by Denise | 3:20 PM ET | 08-14-2008

I'm afraid of snakes. Any snakes. Snakes in the shrubs, snakes in trees, even snakes on TV. I get completely frozen by them.

"Snakes on a Plane"? Scariest movie ever. (Or so I assume. I'm not putting myself through that torture.)

Sent by Stephen | 3:22 PM ET | 08-14-2008

I'm so afraid of vomiting, I would rather bite my fingers off. I've had anxiety attacks due to my emetophobia since I was 4 years old; I'm almost 30 now.

Sent by Meg | 3:23 PM ET | 08-14-2008

Do phobias stem from a deeply rooted fear of dying?

Sent by Mary | 3:45 PM ET | 08-14-2008

i have had three phobias for as long as i can remember and they are completely irrational: empty swimming pools, dams/sheer rock walls (while being in water), and clowns. i understand the fear of clowns is not that unusual, but i've never heard of the other two.

Sent by lenette | 3:48 PM ET | 08-14-2008

Interesting listening to this, because I found myself relating to so many of the fears. ANd it seems many relate to
some basic function of life that must be overcome. Someone who used to drive for a living developing a fear of express ways. A dog lover fearing dogs. Can anyone live so far from the earth as to escape spiders and snakes?

Sent by jen | 3:54 PM ET | 08-14-2008

I'm afraid of windows. Or, more specifically, what could be outside dark windows at night. Any window must have blinds or a curtain over it and the overlap must be pressed to the wall so no one can see in the sides. I get terrified and start running to get out of sight when I see a dark, uncovered window, because imagination takes on all-to-real possibilities. If I have to cover a window after dark, I carry around an empty handgun (I don't even own any bullets).

Sent by Jason from Oklahoma | 3:55 PM ET | 08-14-2008

Mary, a deeply rooted fear of dying? That's a great question. I figure it's an inherent survival response that is just gone haywire...

Sent by Cat in Portage Lakes Ohio USA | 3:58 PM ET | 08-14-2008

I am deathly terrified and have a phobia of identity theft. I feel like my fears regarding this are real because of the prevalence of identity theft these days. I speak with a counselor now, but I wonder what else can be done to help me with this phobia. I try not to use my credit card, I hate showing my ID, and I don't shop online. I know that my fears can be an impediment sometimes.

Sent by Janet | 1:29 AM ET | 08-15-2008

Does anyone have more information on the Ross Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders that Jennifer mentioned? I am afraid of driving.

Sent by Megan | 1:56 PM ET | 08-15-2008

I grew up afraid of spiders. I also abhor killing, even spiders, so I grew up with a glass cup and a stiff card nearby so I could trap the little buggers and escort them out the door. Thinking that I could deal with fear by education, I learned to identify the black widow and the brown recluse. Unfortunately, it turns out that almost all the spiders I see indoors are brown recluse. I once killed 30 in my basement in a single day. I don't like to kill them, but it's them or me.
I'm no less afraid of spiders, but I no longer consider my fear to be
irrational.

Sent by CLBlood | 3:18 PM ET | 08-18-2008

Has anyone gotten help with a phobia by going to a hypnotherapist?

Sent by Julia Ingram | 7:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I have had a similar story to yours but in my case I broke a tooth over a spider. For a long time I have been afraid of insects, especially roaches or anything bigger than a fly that can jump or fly on me. The thought of an insect touching me brings me to tears. I can deal with smaller ones like ants and flies, but I can't kill them, not even a mosquito. Even if an insect is dead, it paralyzes me with fear... for example... if there's a dead month on the side of stairs, my heart starts beating fast and I have to run by it without looking. I can't even see them on tv or pictures. It's really horrible. I don't know how it started but I have noticed it's gotten worse as years go by.
I remember as a young child I wasn't scared of them, we lived in Brazil (land of the biggest roaches on earth) and my mom would always scream in terror when she saw one. I think that's where my fear started... she would scream and try to protect me, but as fearful as she was, she could kill them and vacuum them... I can't even vacuum them when they are dead.
So a few years ago I got into my dad's XTerra (back seat) and there was a spider staring right at me. The state I get into is as if the spider was a serial killer ready to torture and murder me, it's the weirdest thing. I jumped without even thinking, my foot got caught in the door and I landed on my two front teeth. I didn't even scratch my knees but I had asphalt marks on my teeth from the impact. One of them broke and the other one just got pushed back. The little joke cost me $3000 in dental work... UGH.
I have never been in a situation where I've had to deal with something like this alone until this weekend. My husband was out of town, I was cleaning up and found a cricket on the floor (lying on the side, still moving but sort of dying). I got hysterical. It was probably the worse day of my life to date. I had no one to turn to. I literally grabbed a change of clothes and run out the door with no destination in mind. I cried and cried and cried for hours until I finally had the courage to go back and ask a neighbor for help. He walked out of my apartment with the cricket in his hand as if it was a cookie, I couldn't believe it.
It has been 2 days since and I haven't been able to sleep well. I keep hearing chirping noises or thinking about other insects crawling around my house. I walk around in fear at all times. The memory of the hind legs of the cricket send me over the edge.
I have never felt so much anguish before, probably because I have never been alone in a situation like this. Today I started calling psychologists... I don't know if anything will help me with this issue but I figure I have to give anything a try. Living like this is getting out of control.

Sent by Gaby | 1:59 PM ET | 09-02-2008