Waiting tables is one of my cherished past jobs — not because it was the most fun I've ever had, but because I learned so darn much from it. (Except math.) I learned slowly — I'm a late bloomer when it comes to table service — so the list in The New York Times detailing the things you should not do, would have come in very, very handy for me back in the mid-nineties. I was a frequent breaker of rules 45, 36, and 28 (there was no such thing as H1N1 back then, thank goodness.) Anyway, here are the first ten — I suggest you read them all, as they make great conversation starters. (What's your feeling on dessert recommendations? Two of my favorite diners believe — and I'm quoting from Facebook here — "We think generally speaking there are only 2 good desserts on the menu. Sometimes you need the server to give you the 411.")

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.

2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.

5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.