Now, I don't really love to garden, though I love the fruits of it — and I'm related by both blood and marriage to farmers as well as avid gardeners. I like very much the idea of gardening, much as I love the idea of cooking. I read about cooking as much, and sometimes more than, most cooks I know, and gardening is getting to be another one of my phantom hobbies. The latest entry in my reading list, is this darling article from Wired. What, you might ask, might a technophile love about a garden? They have one thing in common: smugness! Of the most winsome variety, though.
Gardeners are among the world’s most charming snobs. Rightly so: As with music and mathematics, the more you know, the more elegant your work. Erudition is valued, and so is a smattering of pretension. If you are a geek looking to put down roots, welcome to gardening. We offer you common ground. Think of it as localized terraforming, if that helps.
Dominique Brown goes on to describe a proper gardening uniform... and then to explain why those hipster Pumas might not work out.
You will understand why no one gardens in sneakers the first time you drop your secateurs (note term, more anon) and they land point down in your flesh. Oh, and you get to wear gear on your belt—hooks, a holster for tools. No iPods. Gardeners listen to birds.
Secateurs, dear reader, are pruning shears, I found out later. I encourage you to read the whole thing. There's a whole world of fun outdoors — but be careful with your laptop.