Just HAD to Get My Grill On...

Not related to grilling, but I do want to comply with your request to post on the blog versus sending you an email. I am writing about the Mocha Moms segment. I do look forward to them every week, but I am also discouraged. They are very positive and insightful representatives of black motherhood, but they are also women who have elected to further their parenting career. I don't want a full-time parenting career; in fact I am truly terrified of feeling forced to make that choice. As a 26 year old black woman, who is trying to figure out how not to get mommy-tracked in the still overbearing "old boy" worlds of sports, law or medicine; can we sometimes feature the dual career moms? The only resource I have is a mentor who had her twins at 45. I'm not sure I want that either.

Sent by Tam from Arlington | 10:18 AM | 9-5-2007

Tam -

Girl, I hear you! Thanks for letting us know what's on your mind.

What can we do to be more helpful to you? It is true that most of our regular Mochas are primarily focusing on parenting right now, but think about it:

Jolene is a STATE REPRESENTATIVE.

Cheli runs her husband's medical office (with 12 employees).

Davina is a former teacher and knows the inside scoop on so many things.

Asra is a writer and professor.

And then there's me...I'm trying to hold it down both at home AND here at work, like you.

Also, I think about the Mocha Moms' in the same way I'd think about us doing a segment about sports -- we'd want to invite people who are REALLY into sports. So, we think of our "moms" as kind of obsessed with the subject, in a way that offers deep value.

BUT, if you're saying you can't relate, maybe we should think about this. ...And maybe we could do more to ask our other guest Mochas about how they hold it down professionally.

(FYI - I had my twins at 43. It's not so bad...)

Hang in there. Thanks again for letting us know what's on your mind and in your heart.

Sent by Michel Martin, host | 3:44 PM | 9-5-2007

Good for you, Michel, on the twins at 43 front. I'm 45 and a guy and I hope to have kids. I went to my girlfriend's checkup today with her and afterwards she told me her doctor said, "Sooner rather than later" on the having kids front. (She's 35.) So I said, "This weekend?" She's still struggling with the idea of how she'll combine marriage, kids, and PhD one day so it made her a little anxious. Strangely, my whole crew is slow on the having kids thing. My best friend had his first at 43. Another friend and his wife are trying for their first and he's 45. We guys have to deal with similar issues of how to juggle babies and career and also our social lives. One buddy realized he hadn't been over my house in a year and a half and couldn't figure out why. I said, "Isn't that Mikey's age"? He hadn't been over cause it's hard to get away with a little one in the house.

For me, I know once I have kids I won't be able to practice law 10 hours a day, work on a novel in the morning and evenings and then still be a good dad/father. So for now, the novel will have to be my baby. But I hope the other one will follow very soon.

Sent by Stanley | 5:53 PM | 9-13-2007