I have to say, I turned off the radio when I heard that there was going to be a virginity segment on. So because of that, I can't actually respond directly to anything Dr. Marsh said on the topic.

I can say though, that I've heard a number of "yay-virginty!" bits on NPR lately, and it makes me roll my eyes. Can someone please have on a bunch of guests that have happy, healthy, responsible, fulfilling sex lives as non-married people? Especially women, as you'll notice so much of the current virginity-till-marriage touting is aimed specifically and primarily at women.

What about folks who don't marry? Maybe they just don't want to. Gay Americans anywhere other than Massachusetts? And anyway, so many marriages are temporary anyway. Divorce. Or maybe your spouse dies. (Doesn't have to be prematurely; women tend to outlive the men, and old ladies deserve good sex too.) You go into the next one as a non-virgin. There isn't even a word for that!

Sent by Jaime Taylor | 7:49 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Hey there Michel. Love your show. The problem I'm having with the "yes, no, maybe later" conversation on sex, abstinence or celibacy, is that it is dominated by religious agendas -- and that's fine because some people are more motivated by that than others. But on the secular side of it, there are women and men who are looking for compatible, caring, trustworthy partners before taking the plunge. Then I have met some widows who have had the love of their life (especially after a spouse's long illness), and have entered another phase of picking up where they left off before marriage.

As for your guest not kissing or anything beyond hand holding (hands only) as a prelude to sex, that all depends on the individual. You can put on the breaks. But there's another stigma. Women who know how to put on the breaks are called a "tease." Maybe your guest has a point considering the cultural world we inhabit which still leans more towards the expectations and gratification of men (check out any cover of Cosmopolitan any month of the year). We constantly have to adapt when we really need to evolve.

But an adult realizes she has choices. And I'm glad the conversation is on the table. I take full responsibility for my choices and one is not to settle for anything less than what I want.

In the meantime, I'm going ALL THE WAY in living a full and meaningful life.

Sent by anonymous | 6:15 PM ET | 11-28-2007

As a sexually active 25 year old black woman, I found Dr. Marsh's stance on virginity fascinating. Not so much for the fact that she is promoting virginity--especially "pure" no-sexual-contact-at-all virginity--but that she's 30 years old and never had sex.

My mother was a virgin when she married her first boyfriend, my father, at the age of 19. I have little doubt that my mother's growing love for my father--and libido--was no small part of her decision to get married.

There's a huge correlation (I think) between delayed marriage for financial, professional, educational reasons and an uptick in (publically acknowledged) premarital sex. My goodness, if I thought I would abstain from sex until married, I *know* that I would be currently married as the temptation and excitement of a growing love and lust would compel me to jump the broom. That's why early marriages were encouraged. That's why cultures that still greatly frowned on premarital sex (India, the Middle East, etc.) encourage early marriage and frown on premarital sex. No one is denying sex but everyone knows a grown person can only go without exploring God-given elation for so long.

I say all this to say...Damn--Dr. Marsh is 30? How long will she wait to discover why God gave the orgasm to sex? I have no problem with virgins--more power to them--but must we sit on the sidelines for so long looking for the perfect guy? I think my mom, when she met my dad at the young age of 17 got it right: I love him, I want to support him, and I want to have sex. So let's get married. It can't be too much harder than that, right?

Sent by Hafeeza R. | 5:40 PM ET | 11-30-2007

I've always been skeptical of people who feel the need to broadcast their very active sex lives and those who aspire to sainthood by the lack thereof.

That been said, I don't see Dr. Marsh's stand of not having sex till marriage as such a unique thing. There are thousands of kids and adults who make such pledges of either delaying or abstaining from sex. Such decisions could stem from personal or religious reasons.

Just a couple of days ago, on one of those morning talkshows, a lady who speaks across the country on abstinence talked about how she waited till her wedding night to have sex and by my calculation she was in her late 20s (now 30) when she got married.

But I hope Dr. Marsh is using her strict stand of just hand holding as a guide for only her and NOT for her listeners. There is a progression to intimacy from the first eye contact to the ultimate act of sex. So to only suggest hand holding before sex is like jumping from progression level four to 12 on the wedding night - what is the fun in that?

Sent by Moji | 1:56 AM ET | 12-01-2007