by Lee Hill

In case you didn't know, we love hearing from our audience. Regardless of the subject — whether you agree or disagree with what you hear on-air or read online — we're not playing around when we ask you to tell us more!

And neither is Dave.

Yesterday, in our weekly moms segment, we had a conversation about parenting that included two male perspectives. Authors Brett Berk and Steve Doocy joined moms Jolene Ivey and Dia Michels to talk about their books, The Gay Uncle's Guide to Parenting and Tales from the Dad Side, respectively.

Well, not so surprisingly, we received feedback to that conversation — some of which was not posted publicly in this blog space.

But I want to point out a critical observation we received in a listener e-mail from Dave, who is also a father:

I was so excited to hear that there would be an interview/discussion about the issues related to being a dad, and that men would be interviewed about their observations and perspectives on the importance of parenting. But, I was deeply offended and troubled that your "mocha moms" were to be a part of the discussion, as if the men's perspectives were not strong enough to stand on their own and needed the validation of a woman in order to be considered true. When moms are asked about parenting/being a mom, do DADs get to weigh in on the usefulness of the women's perspective? ... Please give us the same respect afforded moms.

Well, that note from Dave began a spirited bank-and-forth between him and our host, Michel. But it also touched off a larger thought process among producers here about giving Dads more of a discussion platform when it comes to parenting ... not just moms and moms paired with dads.

Dave felt compelled to share a very heartfelt philosophy of fatherhood and how he's come to recognize how the important role of Dad naturally relates to tenets of manhood. Well, his words were so thoughtful that we asked him if we could share it with you. He agreed.

So, here's food for thought ... from Dave:

When my wife and I were expecting our first child, other parents felt an odd permission to give advice to us. However, most of the comments would be something almost arrogant and not-all-that-encouraging like, "Oh, you better get your sleep now, because you're not going to get any for about 2 years!" or "Enjoy your freedom now, 'cause everything's about to change forever!" There would be smirks and elbow nudges, as if to say, "You thought being a parent was a good idea... but just you wait..." I found those types of comments very draining. Expecting couples need encouragement; they need positive comments that show while everything is changing, a wonderful new world is about to open up to them. Two weeks before our oldest son was born. A male friend who was already the parent of 2 children, pulled me aside at church and said, "Remember, Dave, you are going to be a DAD. You are NOT an 'assistant mom.'" That's all he said. And he walked away. I can still remember where I was standing when he said it. It was the simplest comment, but the most profound. I still think about it every day. I am not an assistant mom. I am a DAD. That is a lofty title. A sacred role. A position of influence. It means more than bringing home a paycheck or providing a place to live. It means more than 'helping with the kids' as so many men are wont to say when they are active with their children. "No!" I want to scream when I hear that, "You're not 'helping with the kids.' You are being a dad!" Being a father means being an active participant in my children's emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual development. I know men who have never bathed their children, leaving that to their wives. I know dads who have never been with their children alone for more than a couple of hours because they feel like they don't know what they're doing. I know men who can broker million dollar deals for a company, but they can't have an honest, emotional conversation with their son or daughter. And I know moms who will go along with such behavior, shouldering the bulk of the parenting duties, tacitly buying into the notion of men's parenting incompetence. It saddens me. In fact, it sickens me. Being a father is way cooler than any paying job. A man's success is determined not by his pension or portfolio, but by the strength of his family. ... It's time for like-minded dads to unite and encourage and strengthen one another giving voice to the privilege of being an active, influential, positive-impact parent. Men need to call other men out to greatness... not merely in business, politics, or sport, but in fatherhood. I suspect a lot of social struggles would be tremendously positively impacted if we did so. Can you imagine? ... Thanks for giving me a forum in which to share my perspectives. Obviously, I feel passionately about the subject! I look forward to your future programs on the topic.

Thanks, Dave. We're taking notes ...