Credit: Coco Sala
 


Not to sound like a French existentialist from the post-WWII school but I am struck, after both yesterday's and today's programs, by how much perception is reality or shapes reality. I'll explain:

On yesterday's program, we had a very spirited discussion about gay marriage and whether the pursuit of gay marriage or marriage equality -- as opposed to civil unions or other rights like social security survivorship benefits, or more expansive hate crime language -- is the right fight for right now in the fight for civil rights for same-sex loving people. It was a discussion that, frankly, could have gone on much longer.

But I was struck in the comments (that are still coming in and you are welcome to join in) by how many people were annoyed by Jasmyne Cannick's focus on race, as well as by her tone. Now, she can speak for herself on that if she wants to. But a lot of people noted that she seemed angry. And they said her anger made it hard for them to hear what she had to say, or that they dismissed what she had to say because she seemed angry.

But she is angry. And I think her anger is part of the story. And one of the reasons we called her to take part in the discussion, is that she has written very frankly and incisively about her view that the white gay male leadership of the leading gay rights organizations marginalizes and dismisses the concerns of people other than, well, people like themselves -- upper to middle-class white gay men -- and that that reality has deep consequences. Jasmyne feels that it is an extention of white male privilege and, as a black lesbian, she is tired of having to react to agendas set by others when she feels they have little relevance to her reality.

What I also noticed is that some reject that idea that race should even have been brought into the conversation at all. You could argue that I brought race into it by the decisions about whom to participate. But my view is that race is part of it, in part because of the fallout from Proposition 8 and feelings that have been generated by the fact that so many African Americans in California supported the gay marriage ban. And now blacks are being accused of homophobia, and white gays are being criticized for what some consider latent racism for expecting blacks to support the issue without making a serious effort to court that support.

I think there's more to say here, but the point for today: it intrigues me how often our perception of other people's intent or character seems to affect our ability to grasp their substance.

Second, on a much lighter note (or make that a darker note ... as in dark chocolate, get it? ... never mind).

We had the best afternoon ever yesterday. We jumped from the World Bank to look at new African art, to a new D.C. restaurant and chocolate lounge called CoCo Sala, where we talked about ... hot chocolate.

And I was talking to TMM producers Arwa Gunja and Argin Hutchins about tastes we like. You might have picked up that chocolate is a particular favorite of mine. Arwa and Argin both mentioned that they cannot stand Ovaltine because they were forced to drink it as kids, either for the vitamins or to get them to drink milk, Whereas I love it -- or used to -- because we were only allowed to have it as a treat. Our mother's attitude was that if the milk is good enough for the cow, it's good enough for you. (And what's with all these other disguising things? She was not down with that.) So, Ovaltine only, sometimes, like weekends.

Of course, we craved it and thought it the best thing ever.

Again, perceptions.

categories: More on Politics & Policy

4:46 - January 8, 2009

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