You know a story is a third rail when you wind up talking about it at a six-year-old's birthday party.

That happened this weekend at a party for my children's friends and we wound up talking about the L'affair Gates. You, of course, know this is about Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr., being arrested in his house last week, the charges were later dropped (like in nanoseconds). But the story has sparked much commentary, in no small part, because the President chose to weigh in and then tried to tip-toe back out.

Of course, this is Washington, D.C., and many of us here are connected to the story in some way. Some of us know Professor Gates, or we went to Harvard, or work in or follow government, we are all interested in what Obama is up to (some of my friends do diversity work and, thankfully, it's a mixed crowd ... yada yada yada). Plus, it is kind of catnip ...

Who among us has not had some encounter with the police — whether as a teenager hanging out at the mall, or a 7-Eleven ... getting pulled over for a traffic stop, dare I say it, having a wee bit much to drink (not me, of course, just reporting)?

But what continues to surprise is what an emotional story this is. I know to some people it's a "distraction," a waste of time from talking about more important legislative priorities, like health care. But one person's distraction is another person's vital issue. I think one of the things that has made this conversation so compelling and, frankly, painful to me is the sense that many Americans are utterly ignorant about and indifferent to how painful this is to black and brown people, especially to boys and men — decent men, law abiding men, well behaved children. Innocent. If you ask any of the men of color you know if they have had some negative encounter with the police or other law enforcement that made them feel needlessly humiliated, I bet the answer will be yes.

Why does it have to be that way? I believe it does not. The other thing that bothers me is the sense that some people seem to have that this is our only choice. I don't believe it is, and, in part, I don't believe it is because I have so many law enforcement officers in my own family who I know go out there, or have gone out there, everyday trying to do right by all people. And I just refuse to believe that we cannot figure out how to do better by all of our citizens.

I remember how, after Sept. 11, when I was one of those people who still had to travel because of my job. What a difference attitude made among law enforcement at the airports. You remember those were very tense times. And I distinctly remember a (white) officer in the Atlanta airport whose courtesy and calm literally brought the temperature down several degrees.

I say all that to say, I hope something good will come of all this hoo-ha about Gates et al. I don't know that it will. I just hope so.

Tags: henry louis gates