J.J. Sutherland, here, visiting senior producer with Tell Me More ...
As the parent of a newborn, I've been somewhat frantically searching for a place I can get the H1N1 vaccine. As someone who has spent a lot of time in, well, less upstanding countries, my first instinct was to figure out who to bribe.
My wife and colleagues convinced me this was a bad idea.
The lines were hours long at the local schools where they were giving it out, and until Thursday my doctor's practice had run out. When I finally made it down to the office with my wife and 8-week-old in tow, I heard the receptionist say repeatedly to people on the phone, "I'm sorry you don't meet the criteria, and if we give you the shot, we won't get any more from the government."
This pandemic was panicking people. We went in to get our shot and the nurse didn't even look at our paperwork, just looked at my daughter, saw that she is under six months old, and gave us our shot. And then it came to me. I'd been willing to pay money to get a shot. I'm sure others would be. And you can't get a shot unless you have a baby under 6 months old or are pregnant. I couldn't help the second situation without getting a divorce, but, maybe, just maybe, I could rent out the baby. Think about it, charge a thousand bucks for twenty minutes. When they come out, change her outfit and send her back in.
I looked thoughtfully at my little money maker.
My entrepreneurial dreams crumbled, though, when I glanced at my wife.
But still ...