Sandwich Monday

Sandwich Monday: The Teriyaki Tofu Burger From Gabutto Burger

"Slightly healthy." i i

"Slightly healthy." NPR hide caption

itoggle caption NPR
"Slightly healthy."

"Slightly healthy."

NPR

Here at Sandwich Monday, we love exploring the many varied cuisines of the world. So when we found ourselves in the food court of the Mitsuwa Marketplace Japanese supermarket just outside Chicago, we went directly for the burger stand, Gabutto Burger.

We ordered the Tofu Burger, marinated in teriyaki and deep-fried, which the menu describes as "slightly healthy."

Eva: "Slightly healthy" is how someone might lie about their figure on match.com.

Miles: Oh, good, all the disconcerting texture of tofu with none of the health benefits.

Ian: I like how they wrap the tofu in a deep-fried wrapper. It's like opening a birthday present where the wrapping is better than the present.

It's beautiful. Now ruin it. i i

It's beautiful. Now ruin it. NPR hide caption

itoggle caption NPR
It's beautiful. Now ruin it.

It's beautiful. Now ruin it.

NPR

Ian: I bet it's pretty heartbreaking when Beef Patty is stalking Bun on Facebook and sees it's replaced him with Tofu.

Miles: The burger's OK; the real star is the deep-fried salad they serve on the side.

Robert: I like a lot of extra stuff on my burger. I think I'll add a slab of beef to this one.

There's polite. Then there's "appears to be smiling even after you've taken a bite of it." i i

There's polite. Then there's "appears to be smiling even after you've taken a bite of it." NPR hide caption

itoggle caption NPR
There's polite. Then there's "appears to be smiling even after you've taken a bite of it."

There's polite. Then there's "appears to be smiling even after you've taken a bite of it."

NPR

Miles: Tofu and deep fryers seem like natural enemies. Eating this is like finding out that Harry and Voldemort start dating at the end of Harry Potter.

Ian: This sandwich is really Messi. Sorry, my World Cup fever hasn't worn off yet.

The tofu attempts to escape out the other side.

The tofu attempts to escape out the other side. NPR hide caption

itoggle caption NPR

[The verdict: not a superior eating experience to a veggie burger, but an interesting change of pace. Improved by mayonnaise, which is true of everything in the world.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

Comments

 

Please keep your community civil. All comments must follow the NPR.org Community rules and Terms of Use. NPR reserves the right to use the comments we receive, in whole or in part, and to use the commenter's name and location, in any medium. See also the Terms of Use, Privacy Policy and Community FAQ.