Sandwich Monday

Sandwich Monday: The Dahlia

The Dahlia. i i

The Dahlia. NPR hide caption

itoggle caption NPR
The Dahlia.

The Dahlia.

NPR

Out on the sidewalk in front of the Denver Biscuit Co., a curling-stone-size cinnamon roll covered in frosting and bacon sits on a table where you check in. The greeter has gone inside, so it's all alone. You understand at this moment what it's like to be a fish spotting a worm on a hook. You know it shouldn't be there, but man that worm looks good. And, what's the worst that could happen?

But we have come not for the cinnamon roll. We have come here for The Dahlia. (Wait, Wait is out of the office this week, but we will still eat tirelessly for you. We were all born with a strong eating ethic.)

The Dahlia consists of a giant sausage patty, fried egg, apple butter and maple syrup. It's optional to get it on biscuit French toast, the way having wheels on your car is optional.

Nick, who brought me here, lives a few blocks away so as to have a short commute to this sandwich. "KFC has the Double Down. This is the Double Over," he says.

If this Dahlia has a negative, it's a structural one, though maybe that's my fault. I poured the maple syrup on top, and I probably should have put it inside. Picking up this sandwich will give you a Spiderman-like ability to climb walls with your sticky hands, while simultaneously taking away your Spiderman-like ability to look good in spandex.

And as we all know, apple butter is generally an insult to the butter name. But here it's a really nice touch and adds a surprising little spice.

Once the maple syrup is applied, the Dahlia is no longer pick-up-able. You're required to use a knife and fork. You'll also want a cutman to administer smelling salts from time to time. i i

Once the maple syrup is applied, the Dahlia is no longer pick-up-able. You're required to use a knife and fork. You'll also want a cutman to administer smelling salts from time to time. NPR hide caption

itoggle caption NPR
Once the maple syrup is applied, the Dahlia is no longer pick-up-able. You're required to use a knife and fork. You'll also want a cutman to administer smelling salts from time to time.

Once the maple syrup is applied, the Dahlia is no longer pick-up-able. You're required to use a knife and fork. You'll also want a cutman to administer smelling salts from time to time.

NPR

[The verdict: All in all, a great sandwich. The Dahlia basically takes a large horizontal breakfast — eggs, French toast and a sausage patty — and stacks it vertically, like a city builds high-rises to allow for greater population density. So in theory — though we don't advise it — this method would allow you to fit two or three more Dahlias on your plate.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

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