Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Guido the Racing Italian Sausage in action during Game Two of the National League Championship Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Milwaukee Brewers in 2011.
Guido the Racing Italian Sausage in action during Game Two of the National League Championship Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Milwaukee Brewers in 2011. Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Team mascots across the nation are heaving exaggerated sighs of relief this morning.
The front-page news in Milwaukee is that "Guido, the Klement's racing Italian sausage costume last seen a couple weeks ago adorning a bar hopper in Cedarburg, was returned Wednesday night."
According to the Journal Sentinel:
"Two men — one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face — lugged the larger-than-life link into [TJ Ryan's] bar just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, plopped him on a bar stool and warned staff, 'You did not see anything,' said bartender Jen Mohney.
" 'Like I didn't just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool,' Mohney said."
Guido — all 7 feet of him — hadn't been seen since Feb. 16, when he attended a fundraiser at the Milwaukee Curling Club's facility in Cedarburg.
The case of the missing link had local police mustarding their resources to ketchup with the criminals. Authorities were steamed. It looks as if the prospect of being grilled or stuck under some hot lights convinced the crooks to bring Guido back.
Or, perhaps they just decided Guido was too hot to handle.
Regardless, it appears the Milwaukee Brewers' sausage — one of five who race during the baseball team's games — will be ready for the upcoming season.
If, that is, he manages to stay out of bars between now and then. And speaking of sausages and bars, feel free to complete this line: "A sausage walks into a bar ..."