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Tiger Woods, Let Us Hear Your Body Talk

Tiger Woods is back at the Masters this week, and yesterday was his big press conference. Gawker points us to People Magazine, which hired a body language expert to analyze the subtle visual cues Tiger was giving off. Like when he wiped his head with his forearm:

Any signal like that is to get rid of bad feelings, bad thoughts or bad emotions. It was also defensive toward the journalists. He was afraid of what was going to happen.

But we think you're going to get a more honest picture out on the golf course, so our body language experts have taken a look at his Masters practice round to show you what's really going on in Tiger's head. First up:

Image of Tiger Woods putting plush tiger club cover on.
Harry How/Getty Images

Eva: You can see he's relieved to have one remaining sponsor, Toys 'R Us.
Ian: I see guilt all over his face. He knows it's only a matter of time till his texts to the Plush Tiger Head are discovered. Those things are filthy.
Mike: Old hobby: philandering. New hobby: puppets!

Next, Tiger and the crowd:

Tiger Woods pointing to the crowd during a Masters practice round.
Timothy A. Clary/AFP/Getty Images

Ian: He's delighted, and surprised, to see one spectator he hasn't slept with. (Turns out it was just the flag on the 14th hole).
Mike: He's happy to see he's not the worst person at the Masters. Enjoy your free tickets, Jesse James!

And finally, Tiger's putter:

Tiger Woods at Masters practice round.
Harry How/Getty Images

Ian: You can see from his posture he's yearning to get in touch with his fans again, even offering those blurry people the chance to play "putter limbo."
Eva: After all the time off, Tiger's struggling to remember which end of the golf club is for holding, and which end is for hitting golf balls and SUV windows.

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Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!
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