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Sandwich Mondays

Sandwich Monday: Pizza Hut's "Cheesy Bites" "Pizza"

A close up.
NPR

Advances in pizza technology don't come along often. There was the invention of the wheel, which forced the classic triangular pizza to give way to the superior, round pizza we know today. The Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites Pizza represents a similar Great Leap Forward, so while it's not technically a sandwich, we went out and got one for today's Sandwich Monday.

The pizza.
NPR

Ian: It looks like a wheel you spin to win a prize.

Eva: Except all the prizes are bad.

Ian: Wheel...Of...GI Distress!

Bottom view.
NPR

Mike: It looks like a foot. It's a chicken foot.

Ian: Or the footprint of the pizza sasquatch.

Mike digs in.
NPR

Mike: There are so few surprises in life. Two of the big ones are the gender of your baby-to-be, and cheese hiding in the crust of your pizza.

Blythe: They should have put a prize in each cheese thing and made an Advent Pizza. Nativity Bites!

Ian eats it.
NPR

Peter: I wonder about the meeting that led to this. I guess they saw people weren't eating their crust so they put cheese in there.

Ian: They should put cheese in voting booths. You know, get people voting. That's my One Point Plan for America.

Another close up.
NPR

Ian: It's a waste of food technology to just basically put more pizza at the end of the pizza. They could have surrounded it with chicken wings. Or little pieces of cake. Anything!

Peter: They should have surrounded it with pizza from superior pizzerias.

[The verdict: pretty much everybody went back for a second slice. The main criticism is it's impossible to know how to eat it. The cheese nuggets seem like an appetizer, suggesting you should eat them first, but if you do that, you have no crust to hold the pizza by. We suggest solving this problem in the classic way: get two pieces of fried chicken and hold the pizza between them.]

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