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Sandwich Monday: Chicken Rings

These are not donuts. i i

hide captionThese are not donuts.

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These are not donuts.

These are not donuts.

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The optimist in me says the White Castle "Chicken Ring" is just a Chicken McNugget with all the unhealthy stuff poked out the middle. The pessimist in me realizes it is just one of the wheels on the ambulance that is taking us all to the hospital.

This is a sandwich by Robert's Law: A sandwich is protein surrounded by bread product. We considered threading a hot dog through 8-10 of these to make sure we had a sandwich here, but read on, and ask yourself: didn't we suffer enough?

Why is Eva happy? Because she hasn't tried one yet. i i

hide captionWhy is Eva happy? Because she hasn't tried one yet.

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Why is Eva happy? Because she hasn't tried one yet.

Why is Eva happy? Because she hasn't tried one yet.

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Ian: Ooh! If I look through it I can see all of you as your future fat selves!

Eva: This is good because if you catch one in your throat you can still breathe through the hole.

A view of Mike. i i

hide captionA view of Mike.

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A view of Mike.

A view of Mike.

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Blythe: How long do you think before the first proposal using a chicken ring?

Ian: For richer or poorer, in sickness and in sickness.

With this ring... i i
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With this ring...
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Robert: Is this how you tell the age of a chicken? Counting the rings?

Ian: I keep wanting to say "chicken wing." It's like a Will Shortz puzzle. "Take an 11-letter phrase for a food, change the 'w' to an 'r,' so that it becomes something that is not food."

Ian with ring. i i

hide captionIan with ring.

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Ian with ring.

Ian with ring.

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Peter: These look like the medical devices you'll need if you continue to eat them.

Eva: If there are chicken rings, are there chicken holes? Munchickens?

Mike: I'm just glad to see chefs finally found a use for the chicken sphincter.

[The verdict: Unsettlingly tasty. It tastes like a chicken nugget, but you don't want to think about the machine that made these. Or the genetic splicing that took place to combine squid and chicken to make chicken calamari.]

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Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!
Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

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