A team of scientists (really) has determined that a toast sandwich (really) is the UK's cheapest meal. It's a slice of toast, seasoned with salt and pepper, between two pieces of bread with butter. It's a great way for people on a budget to get their recommended daily allowance of vitamins and sadness.
Mike: Three slices of bread and nothing else? It's like a club sandwich, but no one is allowed in the club.
Ian: You know, there's really nothing to distinguish this from the World's Shortest Loaf of Bread.
Robert observes proper British etiquette by eating his sandwich with a fork.
Robert observes proper British etiquette by eating his sandwich with a fork. NPR
Peter: The only purer sandwich would be to find some way to hold the two slices of bread about a half inch apart with an array of braces. An Air Sandwich.
Hannah: The toast is like a fun surprise in the middle. A similar surprise would be to open a Christmas present and find the box is just filled with more wrapping paper.
Ian: This is the first sandwich I've ever had that you could shuffle.
Hannah the Vegetarian Intern enjoys the Nothingetarian sandwich.
Hannah the Vegetarian Intern enjoys the Nothingetarian sandwich. NPR
Ian: It looks like the mattresses in Princess and the Pea. Except that had a vegetable.
Mike: It's more like the Emperor's New Sandwich. Only the very smart and deserving can taste the succulent meat inside.
Ian: If we're just doing Hans Christian Andersen stories can I say I'd rather have a little mermaid sandwich?
Eva is the only person ever to smile while eating this sandwich.
Eva is the only person ever to smile while eating this sandwich. NPR
Peter: The layers! This is the culinary equivalent of a Rothko painting. Or it's like a sandwich by Marcel Duchamp! It questions the essence of sandwich and language both!
Ian: Hey professor, why don't you find us a painting of bacon in your fancy books?
Mike: Ceci n'est pas une delicious.
Eva: I'll take my sandwich to Gogh.
[The verdict: everybody liked this more than me. Eva even said her favorite food is toast. But for my money, the best cheap British meal has got to be Fitless Cock. I promise that link is safe for work.]