Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and if your Valentine really loves you, you'll be opening up that heart-shaped box to reveal a Valenburger.
Eva:
Beef is yummy
Buns are too
So get ready Valenburger,
For my hunger is true!
Kate: This is way better way to celebrate a holiday than the time we tried to cut a burger into the shape of a firework. Or Lincoln's head.
After a lifetime of eating his Valentine's Day cards, Peter was happy to find one that was actually edible.
After a lifetime of eating his Valentine's Day cards, Peter was happy to find one that was actually edible.
Peter: You had me at mayo. You had me at mayo!
Ian: You: complete meat.
It's both disturbing and touching that Robert turned pink in honor of Valentine's Day.
Peter:
Dear Valentine, If I were John Montague, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, and I were up late gambling so intently that I had no time for a meal, I would not instruct my servants to bring me slices of cold roast meat placed between two pieces of bread... I would ask them to bring me you, between two slices of bread. But I also would not stop gambling. Happy Valentine's Day!
Ian:
How do I eat thee? Let me count the ways.
Oh, just the one. Through my mouth.
Peter:
Shall I compare thee to a bacon double cheeseburger?
Though art more tasty, with less added trans fats
With less call to take ipecac, or some other purger
Making me throw it all up with a unpleasant splat
Mike: We're doing poems now? I've got a great one from e.e. coli.
It's supposed to say "Chews Me" but Ian is bad at ketchup painting.
Robert: Valentine, be my thrombosis of love!
Eva: I feel sorry for that poor kid who doesn't get as many valenburgers as the other kids in class. That poor, poor, thin kid.
Peter: I remember trying to given Ellen Greenberg a valenburger in the 7th grade, and she told me she wasn't hungry. Later, I saw her eating a hot pocket from Scott Bradshaw. Heartbreaking.
[The verdict: Really, really romantic.]
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