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Sandwich Mondays

Sandwich Monday: The Valenburger

Happy Valentine's Day! i i

Happy Valentine's Day! NPR hide caption

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Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and if your Valentine really loves you, you'll be opening up that heart-shaped box to reveal a Valenburger.

Eva:

Beef is yummy

Buns are too

So get ready Valenburger,

For my hunger is true!

Kate: This is way better way to celebrate a holiday than the time we tried to cut a burger into the shape of a firework. Or Lincoln's head.

After a lifetime of eating his Valentine's Day cards, Peter was happy to find one that was actually edible. i i

After a lifetime of eating his Valentine's Day cards, Peter was happy to find one that was actually edible. NPR hide caption

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After a lifetime of eating his Valentine's Day cards, Peter was happy to find one that was actually edible.

After a lifetime of eating his Valentine's Day cards, Peter was happy to find one that was actually edible.

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Peter: You had me at mayo. You had me at mayo!

Ian: You: complete meat.

It's both disturbing and touching that Robert turned pink in honor of Valentine's Day. i i

It's both disturbing and touching that Robert turned pink in honor of Valentine's Day. NPR hide caption

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It's both disturbing and touching that Robert turned pink in honor of Valentine's Day.

It's both disturbing and touching that Robert turned pink in honor of Valentine's Day.

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Peter:

Dear Valentine, If I were John Montague, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, and I were up late gambling so intently that I had no time for a meal, I would not instruct my servants to bring me slices of cold roast meat placed between two pieces of bread... I would ask them to bring me you, between two slices of bread. But I also would not stop gambling. Happy Valentine's Day!

Love hurts. i i

Love hurts. NPR hide caption

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Love hurts.

Love hurts.

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Ian:

How do I eat thee? Let me count the ways.

Oh, just the one. Through my mouth.

Peter:

Shall I compare thee to a bacon double cheeseburger?

Though art more tasty, with less added trans fats

With less call to take ipecac, or some other purger

Making me throw it all up with a unpleasant splat

Mike: We're doing poems now? I've got a great one from e.e. coli.

It's supposed to say "Chews Me" but Ian is bad at ketchup painting. i i

It's supposed to say "Chews Me" but Ian is bad at ketchup painting. NPR hide caption

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It's supposed to say "Chews Me" but Ian is bad at ketchup painting.

It's supposed to say "Chews Me" but Ian is bad at ketchup painting.

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Robert: Valentine, be my thrombosis of love!

Eva: I feel sorry for that poor kid who doesn't get as many valenburgers as the other kids in class. That poor, poor, thin kid.

Peter: I remember trying to given Ellen Greenberg a valenburger in the 7th grade, and she told me she wasn't hungry. Later, I saw her eating a hot pocket from Scott Bradshaw. Heartbreaking.

[The verdict: Really, really romantic.]

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