Beware Pickpockets and Loose Meat.
Beware Pickpockets and Loose Meat. NPR
We've all encountered loose change, loose teeth, and certainly loose-fitting pants, but only a lucky few of us have encountered the Loose Meat Sandwich. It's an Iowa classic that's basically like a hamburger, except the patty doesn't hold together at all. We picked up a couple from Maid-Rite here in Chicago.
Mike: The meat pebbles make it so much easier to fatten up those hard to reach parts of the body.
Leah: I think you have to have baleen to eat this properly.
This is what it's supposed to look like.
This is what it's supposed to look like. NPR
Ian: This reminds me of the short-lived Meat Grape-Nuts.
Mike: Who made this burger, George Seurat? (That's a pointillist joke.)
Like a deer in the meatlights.
Like a deer in the meatlights. NPR
Ian: I'm gonna wash this down with 200 molecules of hydrogen and 100 molecules of oxygen.
Eva: I'd like a refund, because I specifically asked for a thousand tiny buns.
Ian heard there was meat on the loose.
Ian heard there was meat on the loose. NPR
Robert: I tried making these on my backyard grill. Man, what a disaster!
Eva: I think I might be suffering from amnesia, because it looks like I already ate this sandwich.
The paper bag could not contain all the healthy eating within.
The paper bag could not contain all the healthy eating within. NPR
Ian: These are great if you have kids because if they wander off you can just follow their meat trail.
Robert: The saying "loose lips sink ships" saved countless service men and women during World War II. I think "loose meat you best not eat" could save even more lives.
[The verdict: A great sandwich if you want the ingredients of a hamburger without all the convenience and structural integrity.]