Gassiest Airport Foods

Okay, so now that I've begun this whole discussion of trouser barks, I find myself contemplating another aspect of the dilemma. Someone posted an interesting comment about how you can control your flatulence by controlling your diet. Easy for someone who has the willpower to resist a Philly cheesesteak, possibly a little tougher for others.

cheesesteak, mmmm!.

Getty Images

I brought this up to my dad who's a frequent business traveler and he says the repercussions for poor food choices are greatly compounded during air travel. When you think about it, it makes sense. People tend to grab a quick bite before they board the plane. They're rushing, so they often make poor food selections like a milkshake or a cheese quesadilla. Then they eat fast, which as I discuss in the podcast, causes them to swallow excess air and be even more gassy. Then they sit their derriere in coach and release their "dairy air" so that the skies suddenly become unfriendly.

The worst part is that you can't really know who's the culprit and there's no way to get away from it. And how maddening to think that, in most cases, the flatulence of others might be totally avoidable with a few dietary tweaks.

It's true that the food in airports has certainly gotten better in recent years, with many terminals even offering some local flavors along with the usual chain restaurants. But it's probably best if some of that local flavor doesn't resurface later when the plane is in the air. Of course, you could have bought the Gas-B-Gon cushion, as I've mentioned before, but if you don't happen to have one with you, it's better to watch what you eat. So, I've taken a look around at some airport restaurants to come up with my list of what to steer clear of before hitting the tarmac.

Five Gassy Meals to Avoid Before Getting on a Plane:*

Boston Logan Airport
Yes, you're in beantown, but please avoid any baked beans before arriving at Logan. While you're there also avoid this:
The Broccoli & Cheese Calzone at Famous Famiglia in Terminal C.
Everything about this is gassy from the rich creamy ricotta to the carbs in the crust -- not to mention the broccoli alone could have your fellow passengers reaching for their oxygen masks.

LAX
Burrito Dorado at El Cholo Cantina. This thing is loaded with dangerous stuff! First the cheese, then the beef, and of course -- the beans! AIYEEE!

Philadelphia International Airport
The cheesesteak with green onions and fried peppers from Philly Steak & Gyro. You's better watch out cause it's bound to be a Rocky flight if you chow down on one of these.

Chicago O'Hare
Getting a real Vienna Beef Hot Dog is a must for any visit to the Windy City. But if you decide to chomp down -- do your seatmates a favor and eat it at Wrigley Field instead of while you wait to board the plane. The high fat content in hot dogs is bad enough to clear the room, but what can really be killer is the sauerkraut. Watch out!

Miami International Airport
Fried Grouper Chunks from La Carreta. Now on a certain level avoiding this should be intuitive from the name alone. But if you do order this, it's not so much the fish as it is that it's fried that will get you in trouble. Fried foods in general have a higher fat content making them, you guessed it, gassier. Also watch out for the side of fried plantains, they might come back to haunt you.

So now that I've eliminated all the stuff you really want to eat, here are a few alternative options to consider before you take off:

Alternatives:

Try a salad. Wolfgang is opening up these little food oases in a number of airports.

I also found this article which touts Dallas/Fort Worth as good place to eat healthy (and hopefully less tooty).

Lastly, if you want a general sense of which foods are gassier than others, here's a good list to check out.

*A brief note, I'm basing the menu choices on what I saw online. Some of the restaurants have multiple locations so the exact item may not be available at all airports.

1:00 PM ET | 08-27-2008 | permalink

comments | | e-mail