Saying Merry Christmas to a Jew...WWRD?

Even though it's not quite Black Friday just yet, the holiday spirit is already creeping up on us (albeit in a slightly more muted way this year given the economic downturn). What's not getting any quieter though is the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holiday" controversy. The Colorado Springs, CO based organization Focus on the Family has created its second annual list of retailers which fall into one of three categories, "Christmas-friendly", "Christmas-negligent", or "Christmas-offensive". Placement depends how much a particular retailer uses the phrase "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" in their promotions and catalogs. In response, Ed Stein of Rocky Mountain News came up with this snarky little postcard.

As an aside, isn't it somewhat ironic that Neiman Marcus made the Christmas-friendly list? I point this out because the Marcus family helped start one of the largest synagogues in the Southwest. But I digress.

As a Jewish American I long ago came to terms with the idea of being a religious minority and recognize that if a private business wants to cater to the majority of the population, then that's their right. I don't see any Christian shoppers getting offended when a grocery stores puts up "Happy Passover" signs up next to their matzah display (I realize this is not a very good comparison of scale but the idea is still relevant). I personally have no problem with Christmas trees, decorations, signs, or even the music (when played in moderation). My general feeling is that if people are making an effort to be nicer and happier than that's a good thing.

But that's not to say I agree with the tactics of Focus on the Family either. While a given retailer who advertises "Merry Christmas" is choosing to cater to their Christian customers, those who use the more inclusive phrase "Happy Holiday" are also making a choice. They're choosing to recognize that some of their customers celebrate a holiday other than Christmas. If retailers have a problem being too generic they could just say everything and have banners for multiple holidays. Seems like a good compromise.

There's one thing about the Holiday Season that does get me worked up however. It's when people tell me directly to have a "Merry Christmas." Whether intended or not, it feels like they're assuming I'm Christian--it's almost as if they're saying, "How could you not be Christian?"

I don't usually have the opportunity to have a rabbinic discussion on matters such as these, but as luck would have it, I was able to speak with Rabbi Daniel G. Zemel of Washington's Temple Micah while he was recently visiting NPR. He told me that when somebody says "Merry Christmas" you should say in a nice way how you're Jewish and don't celebrate the holiday; he says this has the effect of making the person aware that we live in a multicultural society and to be more sensitive rather than just assuming that everyone is Christian.

Sounds easy enough, but then again he's a Rabbi, a person who's comfortable putting his religion out there all the time. Now don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my Jewish heritage, I'm just not as comfortable announcing it to strangers. I guess somewhere along the way I picked up the idea that advertising my faith can be dangerous. If I tell the person I'm Jewish, am I opening myself up to judgments, taunts, or weird looks? Is there a risk of being treated differently? Well the short answer is yes that's possible, but then again...so what?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the vast majority people who offer up those Merry Christmases are just trying to be friendly. Furthermore, it's highly unlikely that the JCPenney checkout lady is part of some anti-Semitic conspiracy. When you think about it, it's actually in the holiday spirit to let them know when their cheer is not being received the way it was intended. But then again, it still feels like you're snowing on Santa's parade to tell someone you don't appreciate that kind of greeting. In anticipation of this awkward scenario I've been practicing in my head what I'm going to say in response to the dreaded "Merry Christmas."

"Thanks, I'm Jewish so I celebrate Hanukkah." Pause. Wait for awkward moment to pass. Maybe I could carry some chocolate gelt around with me to hand out if it gets really uncomfortable.

My other idea is to go shopping wearing a yarmulke, or a big diamond-studded Star of David necklace, like the guys in Boys II Men, so I can hopefully avoid the conversation all together.

As for people who know I'm Jewish and still say "Merry Christmas," you've been warned; engagement in this kind of conduct will lead to your placement on my "Hanukkah-offensive" list.

3:00 PM ET | 11-25-2008 | permalink

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