How to Grow a Playoff Beard...ahem Goatee

This coming Sunday my Philadelphia Eagles will do what seemed impossible a mere month ago: play for the chance to go to the Superbowl. I have to admit, I was one of the ones who lost faith. The low point in the season was when the Eagles tied the Cincinnati Bengals and after the game quarterback Donovan McNabb admitted that he didn't even know that an NFL game could end in a tie.

But since that disgraceful moment, McNabb has more than redeemed himself with the last three spectacular victories against the Cowboys, Vikings, and Giants. I'm hoping the die-hards will take my broken wings and let me fly with them again. In repentance for my temporary lapse of support, I've now made a commitment to the "Iggles" via my facial hair. Yes, I'm growing a playoff beard.

I started mine the Sunday before the first win over the Minnesota Vikings and tried to keep it going despite the fact that it got unbelievably itchy. I sure would have benefited from knowing about a product like this ointment. Or at the very least I could have taken the advice of this beard connoisseur, who says if you wait out the itch it will eventually go away when your beard gets long enough.

I have been determined to keep this going, but I ran into some real problems when I tried to tame my beard. I was looking to clean up my neckline, but it didn't come out so well. Might have had something to do with the fact that I was shaving in the shower with a triple blade razor and a mirror that was half fogged over. The result wasn't pretty. It looked like Wooly Willy after losing half of his metal shavings. I decided to modify my beard into a goatee, which I think technically still counts because it was inspired, after all, by Mr. McNabb himself.

"Can you forgive me, Donovan?"

Al Bello/Getty Images

If the goatee doesn't work out, does it count if it becomes a playoff mustache? Even if it does, I'm not so sure my wife will go along with it. Already she says my goatee makes me look like some sleazy guy she dated in college. Maybe I could sport a playoff soul patch. Of course, if the Eagles lose to Arizona this weekend, I'll probably just shave off my whiskers so my tears can freely flow down my face.

8:10 PM ET | 01-16-2009 | permalink

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