I Feel Bad About My Neck

And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

by Nora Ephron

I Feel Bad About My Neck

Paperback, 137 pages, Vintage, List Price: $14 | purchase

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Hardcover, 137 pages, Random House Inc, $21.95, published August 8 2006 | purchase
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Book Summary

A new collection of witty essays by the author of Wallflower at the Orgy offers a hilarious look at the ups and downs of being a woman of a certain age, discussing the tribulations of maintenance and trying to stop the clock, menopause, empty nests, her experiences of being a White House intern during the JFK years and more.

Read an excerpt of this book

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Awards and Recognition

19 weeks on NPR Paperback Nonfiction Bestseller List

NPR stories about I Feel Bad About My Neck

Note: Book excerpts are provided by the publisher and may contain language some find offensive.

Excerpt: I Feel Bad About My Neck

I Feel Bad About My Neck

What I Wish I'd Known

People have only one way to be.

Buy, don't rent.

Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced
from.

Don't cover a couch with anything that isn't more or
less beige.

Don't buy anything that is 100 percent wool even if it
seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when
you try it on in the store.

You can't be friends with people who call after 11 p.m.

Block everyone on your instant mail.

The world's greatest babysitter burns out after two and
a half years.

You never know.

The last four years of psychoanalysis are a waste of
money.

The plane is not going to crash.

Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age
of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-
five.

At the age of fifty-five you will get a saggy roll just
above your waist even if you are painfully thin.

This saggy roll just above your waist will be especially
visible from the back and will force you to reevaluate
half the clothes in your closet, especially the white
shirts.

Write everything down.

Keep a journal.

Take more pictures.

The empty nest is underrated.

You can order more than one dessert.

You can't own too many black turtleneck sweaters.

If the shoe doesn't fit in the shoe store, it's never going
to fit.

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have
a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Back up your files.

Overinsure everything.

Whenever someone says the words "Our friendship is
more important than this," watch out, because it almost
never is.

There's no point in making piecrust from scratch.

The reason you're waking up in the middle of the night
is the second glass of wine.

The minute you decide to get divorced, go see a lawyer
and file the papers.

Overtip.

Never let them know.

If only one third of your clothes are mistakes, you're
ahead of the game.

If friends ask you to be their child's guardian in case
they die in a plane crash, you can say no.

There are no secrets.

Excerpted from I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. Copyright 2006 by Nora Ephron. Excerpted by permission of Knopf.

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