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Patrick Smith Salon.com's "Ask the Pilot" Columnist

Heard on the show: Who Needs a Roommate? When you've got wallpaper. Having It: Your way. Profiling: Our top legal eagle. Lookin' for Adventure: And evidence of water. Clinical Psychopaths: Achingly familiar. The Vikings: Barbequed here.

Jan. 17, 2004

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HOST: Peter Sagal
OFFICIAL JUDGE AND SCOREKEEPER: Carl Kasell
NOT MY JOB GUEST: Patrick Smith, Salon.com's "Ask the Pilot" Columnist

This Week's Panelists:

• P.J. O'Rourke, writer for The Atlantic Monthly
• Sue Ellicott, writer and journalist
• Roy Blount, Jr., humorist and author of Robert E. Lee


Round 1

Who's Carl This Time? (Listen)
We're warming up for next week's Dorkfest; Being old and rich won't protect you from The Man; and, Carl gets his motor running.

» Music Cue: "Born To Be Wild"
Artist: Steppenwolf
Composer: Bonfire
CD Title: Biker Rock
Label: K-Tel International

Panel Round (Listen)
We look into Operation Desert Badger; and a disappointing, but funny, archeological dig.


Round 2

» Music Cue: "I'm No Fool"
Artist: Cliff Edwards
Composer: Jimmie Dodd
CD Title: Classic Disney, Vol. IV
Label: Walt Disney Productions
Year: 2002

Listener Bluff (Listen)
"Only the Lonely" -- Three stories about wonderful new products or services for that lonely guy or gal. (See the true story.)

» Music Cue: "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"
Artist: Elvis Presley
CD Title: Elvis Presley Commemorative Issue: The Number One Hits
Label: RCA
Year: 2002

Not My Job! (Listen)
Patrick Smith, Salon.com's "Ask the Pilot" columnist, plays a game called -- "You’re the Nation's Chief Law Enforcement Officer!"

Second Panel Round (Listen)
The increasing popularity of Bar Mitzvahs; and, a new use for lasers, Wisconsin-style.


Round 3

Listener Mailbag (Listen)
We respond to letters from listeners about last week's chicken hypnotism discussion. A listener comes on the air and defends the art... and brings her chicken.

» Music Cue: "Main Title/The Ark"
Artist: The London Metropolitan Orchestra
Composer: Jamshied Sharfi
CD Title: Muppets from Space
Label: The Jim Henson Company
Year: 1999

Listener Limerick Challenge (Listen)
A cutting-edge study of greenhouse gases in Australia; the Atkins diet hits the fast-food circuit; and a U.S. pilot speaks an international language in Brazil.

» Music Cue: "Rockin' Robin"
Artist: Bobby Day
CD Title: The Fabulous 50s
Label: Madacy Entertainment
Year: 1997

Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank (Listen)
All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Panelist Predictions (Listen)
What will the Mars rover find during its journey across the Red Planet?

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