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Once you listen to the show, you might be thinking: "Anyone can be a contestant, but I want more. I want to be the answer to a Wait, Wait... Don’t Tell Me question."

Well, here's a short quiz that will help you determine what direction you should take in your quest to be newsworthy.

Submit your answers to the following eight questions to find out: Which Newsmaker Are You?



1. You're walking down the street and you see a man begging for spare change. What do you do?

Tell him to get a job.
Ignore him.
Give him your spare change.
Enroll him in a welfare to work program that will give him a hand up, but not a hand out.


2. A stranger walks up to you and gives you a 14-carat diamond, then runs away. What do you do?

Insert in your navel.
Tell everybody that you've always owned it, and you never heard of any "stranger."
Sell it for cash, then donate proceeds to animal rights causes.
Eat it.


3. What have you got in your pocket, right now?

Why do you ask?
I don't have a pocket. I've never had a pocket.
A very old Chiclet that I forgot to eat for lunch.
That's none of your damn business.


4. I'd like to knock your block off.

You and what army?
You just think you do because you've got a lot of unresolved anger.
Meet my good friends, Smith and Wesson.
We're just going to pretend you didn't say that.


5. You're short of cash. What do you do?

Rob a Quikee Mart
Try to live with less.
Convert labor into capital.
Cash? I pay everything with Visa Platinum, my friend.


6. When you burp in the middle of a dinner party, you --

Pretend it didn't happen.
Laugh uproariously, then try to do it again while saying the host's name.
Apologize profusely.
Look shocked at the person next to you.


7. In your view, we should drill for oil in the ANWR --

Never, ever, never.
As soon as possible.
Wasn't he, like, some Egyptian dude?
I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention


8. If you were an animal, you'd probably be...

An ocelot.
An amoeba.
A maculate giraffe.
I already am one.


  



   
   
   
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