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Music Cues: Chads
November 25, 2000
I don't know how it was that dangling bits of punched-out paper got to be called chads. I
imagine it might have had something to do with the early 1960s when so many facets of our
lives were just beginning to be rendered onto punch cards and people were getting
uncomfortable. There was a button at the time--you can see it in museums--that proclaimed,
`I am a human being. Do not fold, staple or mutilate.' Chad was considered cutting-edge;
Chad Mitchell Trio, Chad & Jeremy, Chad Everett. It evoked smoky clubs, espresso, beat
poetry and the essence of cool.
Opa-Locka, Sarasota, Hialeah, Hallandale, count the dimples, simple; can
pregnant chads have pimples? Bush wants to disappear Gore's pimples. Broward counts,
Miami dismounts; West Palm is paramount. Hanging chad. Katherine Harris, certify at five
or dare us. Florida court says, `What's the rush? Take the bus. No fuss nor muss, let us be
perfectly ambiguous.' Recount where you want, but don't flaunt it, hey; hanging chad.
Pahokee, Lake Okeechobee, Sweetwater, Kissimmee, dangling chads are not debris; they
have dignity. Give them leniency; give them scrutiny. Is there tendency to dangle over Al or
get disgorged by George? Heavy hangs the chad that rewards the crown. Hanging chad.
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