NPR logo Hey, Josh Freese Has To Eat, Too

Hey, Josh Freese Has To Eat, Too

Who? Josh Freese, dude! He's a session drummer who's appeared on nearly 300 albums. He's worked with Devo, Nine Inch Nails, A Perfect Circle, Guns N' Roses and others. More importantly, Josh Freese has a new solo album coming out toward the end of March, and has a few special offers for you.

According to his Web site, Freese has devised a multi-tiered pricing system for his album (Since 1972) and the tour to support it:

Download the album, including three videos.

Download the double-disc CD/DVD set.

The CD/DVD set, a T-shirt and a personal phone call from Josh thanking you for buying the album.

A signed CD/DVD set and digital download, a signed drum head and drumsticks, AND... you can go on a lunch date with Josh. (He recommends the Cheesecake Factory.)

Signed CD/DVD, digital download, T-shirt, signed cymbal and drumsticks, and you can meet Josh for dinner. He also suggests you float with him in a sensory-deprivation tank.

Signed CD/DVD, digital download, T-shirt, signed cymbal and drum head and drum sticks, and Josh will wash your car for you... or do your laundry. Your choice. You can also have dinner with Josh, get drunk and cut each other's hair (all of which can be filmed and posted on YouTube).

Signed CD/DVD, digital download, a private drum lesson with Josh, a foot or back massage (couples welcome), lunch, signed snare drum, and pick any three items from his closet.

Signed CD/DVD and digital download, T-shirt, Josh will write a song about you and put it on iTunes, you can co-direct a video with him for the song and post it on YouTube, and Josh will give you a private tour of Disneyland. He also says you can get drunk with him at his dad's place.

Signed CD/DVD and digital download, T-shirt, signed snare drum, foot or back massage, he'll take you to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffle in Long Beach for dinner and Club 33 after, plus a trip to Disneyland. He'll also give you the keys to his Volvo stationwagon.

Signed CD/DVD, digital download, T-shirt, signed drum from the 2008 Nine Inch Nails tour; he'll take you miniature golfing and give you a tour of his favorite haunts in Long Beach. You'll get the foot or back massage, a private drum lesson and any three items from Josh's closet.

Most of the above, plus you can go on tour with Josh for a few days. He'll also write, record and release a five-song EP about you and your life story. You can take home any of his drum sets, go drinking and play with him on his Ouija board. Also enjoy a trip with Josh to Tijuana, take a flying-trapeze lesson and then join him for lasagna.

On his Web site, Josh assures everyone he's completely serious: "I had a press release go out the other day, and there's been a lot of talk on the ol' Internet about what I'm doing and 'if it's real' or if I'm 'joking.' It is very much real, and I am surely not joking."