NPR logo Contest: Fred Thompson, Natural Wonder

Election 2008

Contest: Fred Thompson, Natural Wonder

Fred Thompson

Fred Thompson, Republican presidential contender photocredit hide caption

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GOP contender Fred Thompson continues to be hit with the accusation that he isn't campaigning hard enough.

Commentators have described him as "running like a dry creek" and said that following Thompson's presidential effort "is like watching a big bear stand up and try to dance on ice."

Which we think deserves a Fred Thompson Natural Phenomenon Metaphor contest. Guest host Mike Pesca kicks it off with this beauty:

"The Thompson campaign has all the momentum of a frozen brontosaurus."

People, I'm holding out for better.



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I think we will all be served well to remember the old fable in which the tortoise wins the race.

Sent by RobTN | 10:14 AM | 11-26-2007

Not entirely clear on the entry rules, but here are a few, off-the-cuff:

"Fred Thompson's campaign is so slow, it makes glaciers look like Olympians on steroids. "

"When dolphins hear Fred Thompson talk, both sides of their brain fall asleep."

"Fred Thompson's stump speeches are so boring, that the writers of the FOX comedy 'Till Death sued for copyright infringement."

I could come up with some more, but that would require more thought than is probably worth the effort. Running out of clever "Natural Wonder" comparisons anyway. :-)

Sent by Will G | 12:42 PM | 11-26-2007

Fred Thompson is the only candidate with some concrete, workable plans unlink all others both Republican and Democratic. You wish you had his resume. You may think twice before dismissing this great true conservative.

Sent by Sandy | 12:48 PM | 11-26-2007


This contest is not only for dissing Mr. Thompson. By all means extol his virtues; but remember to use a, soaring, awe-inspiring metaphors invoking natural phenomena. For instance on the subject of Fred Thompson???s consistent conservative credentials as opposed to some of his more prominent rivals you might say that Fred Thompson is a majestic Kapok Tree (Ceiba pentandra) in a forest of chameleons.

Sent by Mike Pesca, NPR | 2:51 PM | 11-26-2007

Fred Thompson is like Global Warming -- a crisis we're trying to desperately avoid.

Sent by Petro | 3:02 PM | 11-26-2007

Fred Thompson has the mental agility of an Irish setter after you've faked throwing the tennis ball.

Sent by Stewart | 5:21 PM | 11-26-2007

Fred Thompson is like el Nino, a lot of hype for minimal impact.

Or I guess you could compare him to a howler monkey...he screams real loudly, but he's still just a monkey.

Sent by Adam | 6:04 PM | 11-26-2007

I think this reads better than the version I posted above:

"Fred Thompson's campaign is so slow, it makes a glacier look like an Olympian on steroids."

Sent by Will G | 7:04 PM | 11-26-2007

Fred Thompson is like a sleeping volcano - Currently still sleeping

Sent by Heidi | 7:46 PM | 11-26-2007

Ceiba pentandra? More like Amorphophallus titanum. Oh snap!

I like Heidi's "sleeping volcano". Fred is the sleeping giant that nobody's woken.

The dude needs to bring out his truck. Ol' Red. That'll save his campagn.

Oh wait... that wasn't his truck. It was a rental. And it wasn't really old. And he was a passenger in it not the driver; he drove it only for photo ops into and out of events, then swtiched back to being the passenger on the actual road. On second thought maybe Ol Red better stay in the garage.

An impeach Bill Clinton cheerleader... RAH! RAH! (But oddly not an impeach Bush cheerleader. Lying about war is ok, lying about one's erupting volcano is bad.)

A Free Scooter Libby cheerleader... RAH! RAH!

A John Roberts cheerleader... RAH! RAH!

A tie Saddam to 9/11 cheerleader... RAH! RAH! Bish Boom Bah!

Sent by Brian | 1:38 AM | 11-27-2007