NPR logo The Final Stage Of Grief: Acceptance

The Best Song In The World Today

The Final Stage Of Grief: Acceptance

When Web editor Laura Conaway proposed doing a mashup of the five stages of grief with the "Best Song in the World Today," I immediately called dibs on stage five: acceptance. It probably wasn't my smartest move, as it turns out. I thought I was well into acceptance, and then found that in the middle of doing the segment I couldn't even talk. Apparently that's the big misconception about Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's groundbreaking research. You don't just move through the stages in order. You go back through them again and again, and you never really finish.

I want to reiterate that I do have a sense of perspective and that although this is a profound loss for me — personally and financially — it's not all that bad in the grand scheme of things. We are all healthy people, we have the ability to work elsewhere, we will all be just fine.

But to help us accept the loss of the show and the Web experience we all loved (I mean ACTUALLY LOVED — how rare is that?) I picked the song "Smile Smile Smile" by Dan Zanes. It's about loving simple things about other people, and about how that love ripples and expands and eventually circles the world. Enjoy.



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Tricia, that song made me cry...before you started crying on air...which, of course, made me really sob. What a wonderful, wonderful experience this must have have truly loved the work and your colleagues. Wishing you the best of luck in the future.

Sent by Marilyn | 9:22 AM | 7-25-2008

I said it over in the BPP Diner, and I'll say it here: we were all crying with you, Tricia. What a beautiful ending to a beautiful project. I can't wait to discover the names of my BPP friends behind my favorite programs in the future.

Sent by David M. Glasgow | 9:53 AM | 7-25-2008

I just loved this. Tricia, I think we might be the same kind of person in some ways. You have done such a beautiful job with the show - as has everyone else (especially Ian Chillag) -and, I will miss it and you so very much.

also, wanted to say that Nathanial was very cute on "the rundown".

best wishes - Hallie (aka Ian's sister)

Sent by Hallie | 10:19 AM | 7-25-2008

So long BPP. I'll miss the hell out of you.

Sent by Dave Wiley | 10:19 AM | 7-25-2008

Awesome song....thanks!

Sent by Julie in North Carolina | 10:20 AM | 7-25-2008

Hey BPP - will you tell Ian that I am coming to NYC tomorrow and I am bringing 5 whoppers WITH CHEESE . . .

Love to you all - Hallie

Sent by Hallie | 10:25 AM | 7-25-2008

I only recently became a fan of the BP, within the last 2-3 months. I listen everyday. I was terribly saddened to learn that the show was to be cancelled and I only learned this a week ago when it was mentioned on air, as I dont participate in the blog. Certainly, you have received many letters about how you would be missed. This must be one of the WORST executive decisions on the part of the NPR administration- particularly when a major part of the NPR mission is to capture the young, hip audience. That said, I wanted to thank you not only for your show, but also the way you went out. The 5 stages of grief was so timely for me personally, not only to mourn the loss of my new favorite morning show, but also the loss of my young cousin who hung himself on Friday. By forcing myself to experience each of the five stages along with you all, I have been able to accept the loss (es) I am experiencing.

It was with great reluctance and a heavy heart that I listened to your last show. My eyes watered on more than one occasion and I fought back the tears while trapped in my cubicle. Surely, you will all be sorely missed and there will be an emptiness in the space that you once occupied. All the best to you all.

Sent by Kamilah | 11:19 AM | 7-25-2008

I am bereft.

Sent by Cinder Conlon | 11:33 AM | 7-25-2008

I don't even know you people and yet.... I was crying right along with Allison in the car on the way to the office today. At the last moment of the show I let go of the steering wheel and clapped aloud with all of you!!!! You will be missed tremendously.


Sent by Dr. Melissa Wheeler | 11:38 AM | 7-25-2008

I am crying at my desk listening to this. I don't even know you all personally, but I feel I do. I will miss you all coming into my mornings for two hours a day, sharing your lives and work.

Sent by Sarah @lanj | 11:57 AM | 7-25-2008

It will be so sad on Monday when I hit refresh on my iTunes podcast list and the little ball won't spin under Bryant Park Project...good luck in the future, you guys made me laugh every day, what more could you ask for in life?

Sent by Pat | 12:22 PM | 7-25-2008

Thank you, thank you, thank you..... For opening my ears to amazing music, for my eyes to funny and stirking images and especially for open my mind and heart to the multitude of amazing people, stories and events happening in the world and especially on the web. I used to be just an NPR listener, now because of BPP I am dippining my toes into the ocean of the online community. I cannot thank you enough, you have definatly left am imprint.


Sent by Not so Jollygreen in SFL | 12:30 PM | 7-25-2008


Thanks for the song; it made me cry! I will miss the BPP so much, mostly because I felt like I was part of the show. I have never felt like that listening to any news/ current events radio show.

Sent by Julia from Denver | 1:20 PM | 7-25-2008

Two years ago today, my dad died, and now my favorite show on NPR died too on that day. I've finally hit the stage of acceptance and let myself have fun, get massages again, and dance to music in my house. This isn't as sad as that day, but I gotta say, for the past 9 months I haven't gotten up in the morning being sad and overwhelmed by my family's situation. I've gotten up and thought, gotta get to work and listen to the BPP. You've taken my mind off things and gotten me back into the real world. Thanks for everything.

Sent by Jenn | 1:43 PM | 7-25-2008

I'll miss you guys and this show. I caught the podcast, so I was behind a day, but it was such a part of my workday, and I listened to it right after Morning Edition, every day. It's terrible the show got cancelled and I really hope to hear you all again in some way, and hopefully with NPR. Enjoy the cocktails later, and know that you were all loved and appreciated and will be terribly missed.

Sent by Bret Logsdon | 1:54 PM | 7-25-2008

I don't want to accept it. The BPP was the only way I was able to get to work on time. I guess now I will get fired for consistent lateness and then begin a life of Internet Spam crime. I need you BPP.

Sent by liz | 2:38 PM | 7-25-2008

I love your show. It entertaining and educational. I get all my cool facts and gossip in your show. Y'all will be forever missed, and I hope BPP will unite once again. *sobs*

Sent by Ismael Baclay | 3:26 PM | 7-25-2008

Very stupid to take BPP off the air.
I NEVER post to these things, but have listened to BPP since the beginning. I got sirius radio and alternate between BPP,Howard Stern, and CH.26 Left of Center. Bring back BPP.

Sent by paul | 11:27 PM | 7-25-2008

I'm an older guy, probably not part of your demo, but I truly appreciated the freshness and attitude of the show. It was alive.

Anyway, as an older guy, I've had my share of farewells. And you know what? In the end, it's all been good. So, go forth. There's a lot to look forward to.

Sent by Alan | 1:38 AM | 7-26-2008

12:13 am, July 26. Just now in the final segment. "Eternal Flame". Perfect. Losing it. Thanks all.

Sent by Glenn Wonacott | 3:15 AM | 7-26-2008

It's Saturday evening and I'm finally listening to the final hour of the BPP. Tricia, you made me cry. (Some friend you are!) Thanks to you and everyone else for everything.

And now I'm listening to the final farewells, and I'm tearing up.

So I didn't put Dan Zanes on my BPP playlist, but I did put on Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone." (Here's the playlist:

NPR's never going to reclaim the magic they had with this show, and you folks are all going to go on to bigger and better things. Peace and love to all of you.

Sent by Sky Bluesky | 12:30 AM | 7-27-2008

Accepted. I would rather have this at my funeral than anything else that is overly sad or dramatic. Excellent choice.

Sent by Mathieu Raymond | 9:52 AM | 7-28-2008

This is a young space--God bless it--and a young show, and I'm not _that_ old a guy, but I echo Alan's sentiment. There's more in front than behind, more to do than has been done. This was a good thing. Use that energy and make more good things.

And thanks for turning us on to a terrific song.

Sent by Steve Thompson | 6:32 PM | 7-29-2008