Open Questions: Proudly And Obstinately Proclaim Your Permanent Refusal : Monkey See We ask you to search your soul and reveal the things you simply will not read or watch, no matter what the peer pressure — and no offense intended.
NPR logo Open Questions: Proudly And Obstinately Proclaim Your Permanent Refusal

Open Questions: Proudly And Obstinately Proclaim Your Permanent Refusal

When Facebook tells me whether I like the same movies as my friends, one set of films causes more hiccups than any other. I like the same movies as this person, EXCEPT. I would be "Best Friends" with this person (movie-wise), EXCEPT.

The "except"? The Lord Of The Rings.

I'm just not a creature person. Hobbits, elves, animatronic doodads, The Dark Crystal, that Genesis video with Reagan and Brezhnev...it's not my thing. One of my friends — and now I can't remember which one, so I'm unable to credit this rather fantastic and useful theory — makes it a rule never to see or read anything where any character has inappropriate punctuation (like a randomly dropped apostrophe) in his name. That rules out much of the fantasy genre, as you know.

At some point, I just didn't make it on board the Tolkien bandwagon (those movies predated the time when I was doing much writing about anything other than television, among other things), and I'm not inclined to start now. I've made it this far, right? Someday, probably, when I'm trapped on a plane or I'm sick with the flu, I will be tempted, but you know what? I think I will still refuse. It's not a judgment either on the material or on the people who like it. It's just not for me. Think me a heathen; you won't be the first.

What have you made it this far without? It's okay if it's Casablanca or James Joyce; we won't tell.