CATAPULT!: This is something more shows should consider.
The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer often lead to flights of fancy. This one has to do with the giant catapult that flings people through the air (and into the water) on ABC's strangely addictive Wipeout.
I know, I know.
But hear me out.
It's not Wipeout that appeals. IT'S THE CATAPULT. (See it in action a few seconds into this promo.)
And a whimsical discussion taking place here at NPR has led to the development of a list of other shows that would also benefit from a giant catapult. Here they are, complete with simulations of what they would sound like if they did have catapults.
1. The Bachelorette. "Jillian, I really want you to know I'm here for the right reasons. I feel a connection between us, and I think as we get to know each other, you'll find out that AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
2. American Idol. "Those judges don't even know good singing. This unsuccessful audition in which I wore a clown suit and sang 'Don't Rain On My Parade' will not be the last you'll hear of me, because I will be back, and I will AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
3. House. "The patient doesn't have piccolocystic fluteopathy, or the whistling coming from his teeth would be much more high-pitched. Did you see the way his shoelaces were tied? Clearly, this man is suffering from AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
The rest of the list, after the jump...
4. Survivor. "Vince, the tribe has AAAIIIIIEEEEEEE!"
5. Grey's Anatomy. "The minute I saw Mrs. Kingston with that giant metal bar sticking out of her head, I realized that it didn't matter why you didn't give me flowers for Valentine's Day. She has a bar in her head; she'll never get flowers again. And it made me realize that AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE!"
6. 60 Minutes. "I don't know why they put all these buttons on my remote control anyway. It seems like it used to be that remote controls just had two buttons — on and off. And now there's all this 'fast forward' and 'pause.' If I wanted buttons, I'd go the Democratic National AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
7. Two And A Half Men. "How long have we been on?" "Six seasons." "Wow, that's impressive, considering that AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
8. America's Next Top Model. "You have to learn how to smile with your eyes. It's the difference between this...and AIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"
9. The View. "AAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" [four-part harmony]
10. Lost. "Are you saying we can never get off this island?" "I don't think we can. As far as I know, we have no planes, no source of transportation, no hope of making it from here all the way back to AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"