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Sirens Vs. Divas: Who Will Win The Great Comic Book Cheesecake-Off?

Marvel's Divas are up to something interesting. Marvel Comics hide caption

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Marvel Comics

In This Corner:
Gotham City Sirens #2

Publisher:
DC Comics

Written By:
Paul Dini, writer/producer behind several animated series starring DC characters.

Premise:
Three of Gotham's baddest bad girls — Poison Ivy (plant-controlling seductress), Harley Quinn (ex-Joker moll), and Catwoman (reformed feline felon) — move in together, proceed to arch their backs a lot.

Plot:
Ivy and Harley, suspecting Catwoman is setting them up, drug her with truth serum, tie her to a chair, and attempt to get her to reveal Batman's secret identity.

Number of Butt Shots:
They are as grains of sand on the beach. Be more specific.

Number of Patently Gratuitous, You-Gotta-Be-Kidding-Me-Here-With-This, Butt Shots:
Ah, okay. Five. Plus all kinds of ...

Boob Shots:
Yes, a bunch. Plus lots of Harley midriff. And thigh.

Percentage Decrease, Compared to Last Issue, in Scenes Depicting Busty Women in Hot Tubs Forcibly Restrained by Creeper Vines:
100.

Percentage Increase, Compared to Last Issue, in Scenes Depicting Busty Women in Leather Catsuits Tied to Chairs:
100.

So, Um, in Other Words:
Pretty much par for the comic book course, yeah.

After the jump: The Divas, and their very different (read: FABulous) Carrie Bradshaw Meets Dorothy Zbornak Meets She-Hulk vibe.

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In This Corner:
Marvel Divas #2

Publisher: Disney. Kidding, kidding, Marvel, Marvel.

Written By:
Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, playwright; writer on HBO's Big Love; has written several previous Marvel titles.

Premise:
Four of Marvel's C-list female superheroes — model/writer Patsy Walker (Hellcat), student/microwave-based mutant Angelica Jones (Firestar), energy-blaster Monica Rambeau (Photon) and private investigator/ex-cat burglar Felicia Hardy (Black Cat) — go shopping, get mani-pedis, dish dirt and commiserate over man troubles at a bar called Shiva's.

Plot:
See above. Except it turns out that Hellcat's literally smoldering ex, the Son of Satan, keeps showing up wherever she goes. And Photon had a fling with Dr. Voodoo, who keeps sending bouquet-bearing zombies to her apartment. And Firestar's radiation powers have given her breast cancer.

Number of Butt Shots:
None.

Number of Patently Gratuit — Wait What:
None, zero. It's not that kind of book.

... None?:
Yeah, I know, right?

Number of Boob Shots:
Well there's a mammogram.

....... :
But that's not what you meant.

No, That's Not What I Meant:
And anyway it's shot from the back, so we don't see anything.

....Percentage Increase, Compared to Last Issue, in Scenes Depicting a Character Getting Rejected for a Business Loan, Because She Refuses to be Financially Beholden to her Millionaire Boyfriend:
100.

Percentage Decrease, Compared to Last Issue, in Scenes Depicting Characters Saying Catty Things about Invisible Girl and She-Hulk:
100. Unfortunately.

The Verdict:
In terms of old-school, blithely adolescent superhero cheesecakery, it's the Sirens in a walk.

But in terms of doing something unexpected in a superhero book — a genre in which the terms unexpected and unmarketable are, alas, all too often virtual synonyms — the Divas are up to something interesting.