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CBS Is Trying To Kill 'Community'

Penny (Kaley Cuoco), Sheldon (Jim Parsons), and Leonard (Johnny Galecki) are trying to kill Joel McHale. Well, not really. But practically. Monty Brinton/CBS Entertainment hide caption

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Monty Brinton/CBS Entertainment

Look, it's not CBS's responsibility to make sure I don't have TV-related scheduling conflicts. I understand that you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

But did they really have to move The Big Bang Theory to Thursday nights, opposite NBC's wonderful Community?

The reason for the move, which was the most jolting news out of CBS's upfront presentation, is fairly easy to understand: they think Thursday night is a good night for comedy, and although NBC has some fantastic programming on that night, the 8 p.m. shows are not ratings giants. Thus, there's an opening.

So CBS is trying to grab territory by moving Big Bang to 8 p.m. Thursdays, to be followed by Bleep My Dad Says, starring William Shatner. (Yes, that's how they're referring to it, at least out loud. According to their press release, in print, it's $#*! My Dad Says. Goodness. Wouldn't What My Dad Says have been easier? It's not like saying "bleep" doesn't already stress that you have to take out the swears.)

Anyway, this moves one of my favorite shows, The Big Bang Theory, against one of my very favorite shows, Community. And I understand how the world works, and I understand that Big Bang is a hit, and I understand it will undoubtedly win that battle, and I understand that it's not show friends, it's show business, and all that.

But boy, do I find that sad.

A side note: I will plan to DVR Big Bang and watch Community live, because I absolutely refuse to reward the terrible decision to keep Big Bang from being available online either free or paid. it's a bad policy, it's anti-consumer, and it's an outlier in a world where almost no other popular show works that way. Literally the only way you can see an episode you've missed is to wait until it comes out on DVD and purchase the entire season on DVD, even if you only missed an episode or two. There is no other way. That's just ... mystifying, and it puts an asterisk next to my love of the show that won't be removed until something changes.

The other big part of this move, of course, is that CBS used to run this unscripted show at 8 p.m. on Thursdays — it's pretty popular. They call it Survivor, I think.

Yes, CBS is booting Survivor off of Thursday nights and to Wednesday nights, also at 8 p.m.

In terms of new shows, Big Bang's Monday night slot will go to Mike & Molly, a show about an overweight couple who met at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Now that sounds auspicious. I absolutely give you my word that I am not lying, that this sentence is in the press release: "For Mike and Molly, thanks to their mutual love of pie and the desire to resist it, finding each other may have been worth the 'weight.'"

I will give you a moment to recover. I am sorry that sentence happened to all of us.

At 10:00 p.m. on Mondays, you'll see the reboot of Hawaii Five-O. Now, reboots are instantly suspect, it seems to me, but this one features Daniel Dae Kim, Jin from Lost, and it also includes Alex O'Loughlin, who was not discouraged by the sinking of Moonlight and Three Rivers, and is going to become a success on CBS if it kills him.

A new lawyer drama with Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell, The Defenders, will show up on Wednesday nights. About O'Connell's character, CBS says that his "passion for the law is matched only by his love of fast cars, beautiful women and expensive clothes." So wait, this lawyer is kind of a flashy bad boy? How do they think of these things?

Friday nights will include a new drama about New York cops, perhaps television's most neglected minority, Blue Bloods. This sounds fairly pedestrian until you find out that it's headed by Tom Selleck, who has aged fantastically in my opinion and who is always welcome on series television.