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Dogs In Wigs

This Judgmental Elephant Is Very Disappointed In Robert Pattinson

The poster for Water For Elephants, which opens this week. Twentieth Century Fox hide caption

toggle caption Twentieth Century Fox

The poster for Water For Elephants, which opens this week.

Twentieth Century Fox

The elephant in this poster is absolutely devastated by Robert Pattinson's pawing of Reese Witherspoon. This is a very, very judgmental elephant. What I love about it, in particular, is that this judgmental elephant is mirrored by Christoph Waltz, who looks to me like he is actually less devastated than the elephant. The last time we saw Waltz, he was a brutal killer, and now he's being out-glowered by this elephant.

What is the elephant's stake in all this? Is the elephant in love with one of them? Is the elephant concerned about the decaying morals of the circus now that men are brazenly touching the satin-clad lower backs of beautiful women?

WHAT IS THIS ELEPHANT PLANNING?

I await your thoughts.

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