It's Monday morning — never my favorite time or day. But this morning I took the last batch of pills for this chemo cycle. My week off has begun. Of course, as many of you know, a week off doesn't start immediately. It takes a while for the drugs to get out of your system, so you really only get a couple of days of feeling pretty good.
For me, mornings are the worst. I stopped eating breakfast (I know — that's a bad thing) about forty years ago. But you're supposed to take the pills with food, so I have had to start eating in the morning again. I try all sorts of different things: bagels, fruit, even cold pizza. But mornings are tough because that's when the nausea comes.
When I first started this, I would take my pills almost as soon as I got up. That's slipped a little. Now I read the paper, do a little work and then, when I realize it's getting late, go for the pills. I wonder if some of the nausea isn't psychological. I start to feel sick when I know that I'm about to take the drugs. Of course, the pills do make you sick, so I guess it doesn't really matter.
Libby wrote in the other day to say this:
I find grabbing a bunch of my favorite songs on CD or an MP3 player and singing along as loudly as I can gets me to a point to getting started with the day. And isn't it all about getting started?
As I said, I've never been a morning person. My staff at Nightline knew to give me a little room early on, at least until my huge iced mocha had kicked in. That hasn't changed a whole lot — it just takes a little more strength to get things moving.
But Libby is absolutely right. Not about the singing — at least not for me. I can't sing at all. It's one of my great disappointments, I'm pretty sure I'm tone deaf. But it's all about getting started. There's a whole new day ahead of us. More challenges, more triumphs, maybe a few defeats, but more life. And isn't that all that we can ask?