We try to steel ourselves to be ready for bad news. We should be pretty good at it by now, because so much of the news in cancer world is bad. Still, when it comes, it can hit like a sledgehammer.
Last Friday was scan day for me. It was the first time we were going to look around in a while. We had been concentrating on my spine, sort of ignoring whatever else might be going on.
Well, the news wasn't good. And I wasn't prepared.
I have three new tumors in my brain. The cancer has fractured part of my pelvic bone, which would explain the pain I've felt for so long. New tumors in my liver, which had been clear up until now. Lungs, ribs, shoulder blade.
Basically the disease has exploded.
There are some things we can do. Some things we'll need to do. The pelvis and brain are probably at the top of the list. But there's nothing to be done about a lot of the disease.
The total burden of the cancer on my body is pretty heavy now. I have some serious decisions to make.
Overall, things don't look so good. But I've held off this disease for two- and-a-half years already.
I still have some fight left in me.