The Growl Of A Predator

On any normal day, this would just be a really bad thunderstorm rumbling its way across the summer sky.

But it's not a normal day and the rumbling is more like the growl of a predator stalking its prey.

Leroy's cancer is making its move.

I guess we all knew this day would come. The day when his doctor would say the medicine needs to be stronger.

The day when I would need to be stronger still.

The thunderstorm has passed, but I can still hear the growl.

— Laurie



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Laurie - we are all with you. Every single one of us would do anything we could for you.

We heard the growling all the way to New Jersey. Was the lightning Leroy's defiance?

My thoughts are with you today! Take a few minutes for yourself this weekend. Some time with friends to keep your strength up.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:20 AM | 8-15-2008

Yes, I guess we always did know this day would come. It's still hard to read your words. So sorry Laurie.
Hugs & kisses to you both.

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 7:29 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, it is so hard to watch someone you love in pain and yet be powerless to stop it. I hope that the support that you feel from all of us out here helps to give you the strength that you need.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 7:31 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy,
My heart is hurting for you both. God is wrapping Leroy in his arms and will hold him there until he is through all this suffering. I have thought for a long time we should be able to help those we love leave us somehow, like we help our children's birthing into this world, and I just heard
someone has written a book called Deathing. Love and prayers for you both and lots of gentle cyber hugs.

Sent by Paula Swink | 7:34 AM | 8-15-2008

My heart breaks for you today. Being a life giver, you find strength you never knew you had. You draw from somewhere deep down inside you and you do what it takes to make it through another day.
For me, I hung onto everyday with Neil with all I had. I found a rainbow in each storm that passed by. At one point, I knew Neil no longer suffered and I knew he had finally won. He was in a better place filled with sunshine, love and laughter.
I have found a place in my heart where he will always be and that is where I go everyday to be with him. He has never left me..
Laurie, I hope you find your rainbow today. Stay strong my dear, you have many prayers being said for you and Leroy.
JCR, Sasha, Al, Eileen, Stan and all, much love and continued prayers!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:35 AM | 8-15-2008


Your words always move me. I'm sure Leroy hears your voice above the growl and finds some peace. Sending you sun and support today from the north.

with love ,


Sent by patricia benson | 7:52 AM | 8-15-2008

I hold both of you in my thoughts and prayers but I must now admit that the day has come that I dread to read the blog. Kind of like the thunderstorm you talked about. You know it is coming and you wonder how bad it will be this time. But somewhere there will be destruction..maybe not your house or your trees but most likely someone in your area. Cancer is like that...But no one that I ever heard of is like Leroy. I've said it before, his grace and humor in the face of this cancer has been an inspiration to me. I have learned to live my life a little differently since I started reading Leroy's blog. He has touched the lives of many people...he is like that thunderstorm.

Sent by Helene Weingarten | 7:52 AM | 8-15-2008

Dearest Laurie:
The best I can do is send you a cyber embrace. I shared a similar journey with my dear friends Dan and Karen. I recognize these milestones.
I look forward to Leroy's voice being back again next week, if he chooses to do that.
I am thankful Hospice will be there to give you and Leroy the best possible day every day.
Though your beloved already knows it, please tell him once again that I love him as if he were my own brother. I so wish I could embrace him one time but I will let all the posts I've left in the past symbolically be that embrace. He changed my life and my outlook that first day I heard him on NPR. I have been here ever since, almost from his first day of posting.
Early on, in commenting about his ability to beautifully express my own thoughts about cancer and mortality, I said that, should my cancer return, I would turn to his words to help my family and friends understand me better.
He has done so much for all of us. No words can truly express the gratitude or enormity of his gift.
Thank you Leroy.

Sent by Harriet | 7:55 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,

My heart goes out to you. I have been right where you are. We appear to be so strong and we are. My thoughts are with you both daily.

Peace and Love....

Sent by Gail Hunsberger | 7:58 AM | 8-15-2008

My heart goes out to you and I pray that God gives you both the strength to continue to fight the good fight.

Sent by Ann | 8:00 AM | 8-15-2008

Here's hoping that the skills of your medical team can keep you one step ahead. Cheering on the sidelines for you and Laurie.

Sent by Leslie | 8:05 AM | 8-15-2008

While we all knew it was coming it still is hard and sad. Leroy has done a good job holding it at bay. You too Laurie.
I hope the medicine helps him now with the pain, and he can be peaceful.
May the weekend and extra medicine help the pain for the both of you.
Prayers, and May The Peace Of God Be With You.
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:05 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy,

My prayers for you today. I am sorry to read this post, that the Beast is making every single day so hard for you both.

Sent by Melissa T | 8:05 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie (and Leroy)

My prayers are with you.

Sent by Connie Jaeger | 8:07 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy,

This has been a difficult transition for you both. Recognition of loss of independence, allowing others to help with care, initiation of hospice, home equipment being brought in, and now the medications need to be stronger.

Allow yourself your feelings and emotions, be patient and find your solitude and space for tears, screams, and peace. My prayers are with you both.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:07 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,
This is so hard. I hope you can feel the love an support of all of us. Peace to you and Leroy. Tell him we love him.
Namaste. Susan

Sent by Susan | 8:13 AM | 8-15-2008

Oh dear so few words and yet they provide an absolutely clear picture of what is happening in your home - and in your heart. So I will pray for a pain-free weekend for both of you and send you all the positive energy I can muster!!

Sent by JaeMoyer | 8:23 AM | 8-15-2008

I have no words today.............just tears.........

Sent by sasha | 8:25 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy, My heart and prayers are with you two as always today. I am just so sorry you both are going through this.

Laurie, thank you so much for posting today, keeping us informed. I hope by the fact there are so many of us out here pulling for Leroy, and understanding and wanting to give strength to you both that somehow that will help you a little. I know what a difficult time this is. Give Leroy and big hug. I wish somehow we could give you one.

Will see you on Monday. Thanks again for the post Laurie.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:25 AM | 8-15-2008

I'm holding you tight, Laurie. I'll let go so that you can hold on to Leroy. Love to you both.

Sent by Susan | 8:26 AM | 8-15-2008

My heart is breaking for you
and there is NOTHING I can say to make it better.

Sent by Jane in AR | 8:27 AM | 8-15-2008

I remember feeling like I was standing on air, no solid ground to hold us longer, the hardest time in our lives together. Some people would suggest reading the Footprints poem

It fits. Prayers for you and your best friend.

Sent by Irene | 8:37 AM | 8-15-2008

My thoughts and prayers are with you both

Sent by Annette | 8:37 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,

I've always thought of Leroy as 'the big guy' and imagined that his broad shoulders offered you comfort from any storm. Now comes the time when your job is to protect him, from pain and anxiety. Your love for him will guide you. You'll know what to do and have the strength to do it. At this point, I believe the journey is much more difficult for you than for Leroy, so I hope you feel the love and support we send you...

Sent by Brenda in Texas | 8:44 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie.... I ache for you and Leroy, both. It's been almost 8 months since my daughter's cancer went "on the prowl", and I know how you feel and what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.

Today we leave to go north for our daughter's memorial service with family. We had to delay it so long because my husband had to have surgery for his cancer shortly after she passed and it took several months for his recuperation. It will be good to see family again but I know it will be an emotional time; however I feel strengthened knowing that we are doing everything the way that she wanted.

God bless!!

Sent by Betty Obst | 8:47 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, Your writing is beautiful, but I'm so sorry about the circumstances. Hang in there. So many of us are praying hard for you both right now.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 8:54 AM | 8-15-2008

(May be a double post)
Put on your Ipod and drown out the sound at least for a little while.
Stay strong.

Sent by Rockland Refugee | 8:56 AM | 8-15-2008

My heart goes out to you Laurie. And to Leroy and evryone in this stinkin' circumstance.

Love and peace to all

Sent by Marjorie Hamilton | 9:00 AM | 8-15-2008

We will be here Laurie, by your's and Leroy's side, in the midst of the storm.


Sent by Charles Willingham | 9:03 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie/ ????????????
What you cannot hear but I hope you can feel are the thousands of us standing right behind you and Leroy.
We can hear the beast growling too, in the sky, in our minds, in places that should be quiet.
You may feel like the lone warrior on the battlefield awaiting a foe. But we are here, like the silent ???ninjas. Soon we will be jumping out from behind rocks, falling out of trees, rising from streams, lifting out of piles of leaves and you will be surrounded by the cancer-ninja-squad / ???????????????.
Laurie-san we await your signal.
(we are at your service)
Debra Altschiller

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 9:05 AM | 8-15-2008

laurie: Not a day goes by that I don't think of both of you. I'm a few months behind Leroy and it is scarey. This blog has helped my husband and myself to prepare. I wish I could help you. Thank yoy

Sent by diana from kc | 9:06 AM | 8-15-2008

So the time has come Laurie for you to let others in to help you as well. Cook, clean, run errands, just be around the house if you need them. They don't have to be by your side, just near by. We did something the last couple days of our son's life (and I don't know that it's that time for Leroy ok?) but we opened our home for anyone that wanted to say what they needed to say to Theodore before he was gone. Even if it was just holding his hand and saying they loved him. It was healing for folks to do it then instead of to a coffin. Theodore was in and out of it but the hospice nurse advised us the hearing is the last thing to go so even though Theodore may not have been able to respond to folks, he could hear what they said to him. I am very thankful we did that. A lot of people came and I believe it meant a lot to them. Some that came couldn't believe he was almost gone because throughout his illness he told folks that he was fine and that things were going to work out. They believed him because for the most part he looked healthy. Very few knew what raged in that young man's body.

So anyway, I guess what I am trying to tell you Laurie is that maybe this is not a time for you to be alone. Just a thought.

Praying that God will wrap his loving arms around you and let you know He is there to lean on.

If you could, would you do me a big favor and give Leroy a hug from Judy in Wisconsin? Tell him what he has done for me through this blog will never be forgotten and very healing. For anyone in cancerworld they know what I mean. Thank you Laurie. I wish I could give you a hug too...

God bless you both and hope you have a peaceful and loving weekend.


Sent by Judy Voller | 9:07 AM | 8-15-2008

Hang in there, Laurie. You are strong enough, I promise.

Sent by susan | 9:13 AM | 8-15-2008

Knowing that the day would come, and having the day actually come are worlds apart. I know that you are both being supported in every way, by the hospice staff, your family, friends, doctors and oncology nurses. I know that you know that we all here in Blog World support you in less tangible, but I hope helpful ways. We carry you both in our hearts. Give Leroy a hug from us, and give Spanky a pat from us, too. Consider yourselves hugged.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 9:16 AM | 8-15-2008

You are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Sent by jk | 9:18 AM | 8-15-2008

Leroy and Laurie,

You are in my thoughts and prayers all the time now. You are both exceptional people, to have shared your journey with us. Profound thanks.

Sent by Jeannine W. | 9:20 AM | 8-15-2008

You have been seeking and finding strength every day these past years. You have found it and used it so well, that a channel has formed along which today's strength will flow. Don't worry about that part.

Sent by Ceese Stickles | 9:20 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy,
Know that you are in my heart each day and that you aren't walking alone. Sending all my love to you and hugs for "Sparky"!
Peace! Jude

Sent by Judith Tynan | 9:21 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, I send love and strength to you and dear Leroy ! I wish I could do so much more! I've heard that ominous growl of the predator that does not pass you by. I lost my dear sweet Daddy two weeks ago tomorrow. This beast has no mercy, but let's be thankful that there are medications now that can help to numb this onslaught. Many blessings to you and Leroy...'til Monday

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:21 AM | 8-15-2008

Thank you so much for this update. It means a lot to me that you would send these words when things are so tough. God bless & tender thoughts to you and Leroy.

Sent by Tina Oehser | 9:22 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy

My heart is with you.

Donna from VA

Sent by donna bennett | 9:23 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, for what you and Leroy are facing, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You are not alone.

Sent by Martha in FL | 9:26 AM | 8-15-2008

Leroy, Laurie,
I wish you well. I know a lot of people have rooted and pushed for you to keep fighting, keep posting, but now is the time for you and for Leroy. This is private time, please take it. Post if you want to but don't feel you have to. Bunker down and let Leroy feel safe from the storm and we'll all be here to help you clean up after the storm has passed. I'm sure you spend more time now trying to make things as normal as possible, doing everything possible to avoid the obvious, but I hope you and Leroy have taken those few honest minutes to let you know how you feel. I'm not very religious, but I feel that the one gift cancer gives us is the chance to say goodbye, to walk our loved ones to heavens gate. It's a high price, but we live so we can die. I've lost the 3 closest people in my live the last 3 years 2 to cancer and 1 to a heart attack. I was at both my parents side when they passed and not with my grandfather when he had his heart attack. I wished I could have been there for him, to try to save him, to do something, everything possible. At least you know you did everything possible and more.

Sent by paul. | 9:28 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy,
Wow, I should have been wearing my glasses,my eye-hand coordination and my memory must be totally blitzed today.... my apologies to "Spanky".

Sent by Judith Tynan | 9:29 AM | 8-15-2008

Yes, this is always a hard milestone to pass, Laurie. It seems to signal how dire things have become, how much higher the level of help we need has become, how much more aggressive the disease has become. But when this next level is needed, we take a deep breath and step up to it. We do it to make our loved one more comfortable, if possible, to give him ANY chance to feel free from that relentless growling disease. Hold on to the thought that all storms will pass, and the main thing is for dear Leroy to get some rest and have some time that is relatively removed from the pain and discomfort so he can spend it with you and his friends and loved ones. We do whatever it takes to get those moments, Laurie, and we will treasure them forever. When my dad finally admitted he needed some heavy pain meds, it was tough at first as his body acclimated, but in a few days, he was actually able to sit up and talk and watch TV again - and feel in control, which the pain had taken from him. For a stubborn guy like my dad, being in control was vital, and something tells me Leroy might like that feeling as well. Hang in there, you two. Hope Leroy has a peaceful weekend, and that you can also get a little rest. This is a very difficult decision you've made, but know that so many others are there with you all the way. Bless you both.

Sent by Susan Crawford | 9:29 AM | 8-15-2008

Always thinking of you...

Sent by alison jones | 9:37 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie you write so beautifully. The storm was scary. I took the dog ran to
the basement and under a Redskin blankie. If I can get anything my office is near Bradley Drugs,they have it all from portable potties to meds.

Sent by Nancy Goldberg | 9:41 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,
I so hope you decide to continue this Blog. It's so good to hear your voice. I've been alone for two months now and I'm trying to live "Normally" but every day, I check in to this site because this is the only place where people understand my language. My thoughts are with you. I know about the growl of thunder.

Sent by Elaine | 9:45 AM | 8-15-2008

My prayers are with you guys. Tell Leroy how much we love him and how proud of him we are. Many people in his place wouldn't be so brave. You guys have help so many people and I'm sure Leroy will be blessed in the next world for all the good he has done in this world. Please tell him we are all praying for him as we are you. This is going to be the toughest part of the journey. We are all here for you. God Bless you BOTH!

Sent by Aurella | 9:47 AM | 8-15-2008

My Gosh,

Selfishly, this is not what I wanted to hear today. This sent a chill through my bones. I can only say that continued prayers and much love will always be sent your way, and I hope you can feel us holding your hand. God Bless you both.

Sent by Connie | 9:47 AM | 8-15-2008

What can anyone say. Hopefully increasing the medicine will help the pain. My thoughts are with both Leroy and Laurie. May you find some peace and pleasure this weekend.

Sent by Dona | 9:48 AM | 8-15-2008

I've been following this a long time. Read all the comments a long time. Thank you Leroy and Laurie for giving me the best education in Life I could have every imagined. It only hurts die if you have lived good. The better you live, the more it will hurt. I think that is good. That is the way things should be. When Leroys work is done, Laurie can let us know, and this class is over. Thank you. Thank you.

Sent by jlh in Dallas | 9:52 AM | 8-15-2008

Be strong. The storm shall pass...
You guys are in my thoughts.

Sent by Kathleen, NJ | 9:59 AM | 8-15-2008

what an amazing post. not many people have talent to match their pain. may it help you through all to come.

Sent by anney wright | 10:01 AM | 8-15-2008

Many prayers to you both today and all week-end. Hope more meds mean less pain and some peaceful moments this week-end.

Sent by stacy | 10:05 AM | 8-15-2008


The only thing I can say is that today might be a good day to spend with a friend or with others in your family. Stay at home or go out for coffee or rent a movie or whatever... Leroy isn't the only one who needs support. You need it too.

The airlines all warn that if the air pressure drops in flight, oxygen masks will drop down from overhead compartments. If you are traveling with someone who needs your help, you must put the mask on yourself then on the other person.

The reason, of course, is that if you don't take care of yourself first, you can't take care of anyone else.

That's so easy to forget when there's enough oxygen in the room.

Sent by Nancy | 10:13 AM | 8-15-2008

I am so sad reading your words, Laurie, and, like a child, wish there was a miracle to save Leroy and you from traveling this wretched path. This I know, comfort will come, in time, for both of you. In prayer and love.

Sent by Molly | 10:15 AM | 8-15-2008

Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers during this most difficult time.

Sent by Janie | 10:18 AM | 8-15-2008

My continued prayers for you both. I hope the weekend is a good one.

Sent by Geoff | 10:18 AM | 8-15-2008

Thank you for sharing your journey. We come along and then move away. But you two are always on the road. While we may not be on the road with you all the time, we are thinking of you and offering our prayers, thoughts and strength to help you with the next turn on the road.

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 10:20 AM | 8-15-2008

I'll pray for you two again on Sunday.

Sent by Lisa | 10:20 AM | 8-15-2008

Same time same place. This is dat five of chasing the pain, it's finally undercontrol, Spelling may be bad. We also new this day was comming just not this soon, whenever is tooooo soon. My heart is with you leroy as you run past a million thing in you mind, maybe not. I want to clean the fridge, for ffod that will surley come in. And the hoouse should be cleaned for company. we need to get a few thigs at the stor. I guess someone else will be doing all these chores today and in the new few. God be with you Lori, my husband just looks lost in the mahem. The women always taje care if these thigs, Have a peaceful weekend and hope to be here to read you on monday, (ME that is) Mary in Montana

Sent by mary fitzpatrick | 10:24 AM | 8-15-2008

I hate cancer. i wish I could be there to help sooth your pain. Know that we are here and shedding tears right along with you. Remember, we are in this together.

Sent by Kathy B. | 10:27 AM | 8-15-2008

Just hugs, and shared tears. From all of us who understand and feel with you.

Sent by Kathlelen | 10:29 AM | 8-15-2008

It is so heart breaking that this day has come for you both. I feel your pain - I have lived on both sides of cancer world, first with my mom eight years ago, and now two years past my own diagnosis. My prayers are lifted for both of you.
Thank you for putting the words to the feelings, Laurie. I hope you continue on with postings, for a long time. I need the healing that comes from sharing your side of it, too. Peace to you, Leroy, and courage for the next leg of the journey.

Sent by michelle | 10:31 AM | 8-15-2008

God bless you Laurie and Leroy. I understand the pain you are in Laurie as I have witnessed a loved one in the terrible grip of cancer. Be strong, don't be afraid to cry, and lean heavily on others.

Sent by Carole from Houston | 10:32 AM | 8-15-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
You are in the hearts and prayers of many around the world. Just know that you are loved.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:35 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie -
Wishing you all the strength you need, and a release from pain for our dear Leroy. My heart hurts for you both.

Sent by Doris | 10:37 AM | 8-15-2008

Thinking of you. I have been there...more than once...try to take a few minutes for yourself every day...a walk, a quiet lunch out (by yourself if with someone seems "too much fun"...though its helpful)...or something...while someone hangs with Leroy.
Best, Sandra Yudilevich

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 10:40 AM | 8-15-2008

As I swallow yet another pain pill for my back pain, I read the blog with some anxiety. Thank God for the stronger medicine I'm thinking a little selfishly...but yet, I want Leroy to not suffer. You both have suffered enough.
Hold fast.

Can you feel our presence in the room with you? A thousand spirits lifting you both up, if even for a moment.

We're here.

Sent by Anita Apodaca | 10:40 AM | 8-15-2008

Post # 2
My previous message was peppered with Japanese, somehow "translated" into question marks. I'll know not to get fancy anymore.
Sorry it didn't come through as intended.
Standing by you as always
Debra Altschiller

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 10:43 AM | 8-15-2008


I'm so sorry, my dear, that things are as they are. What I find myself hoping for with Leroy is a pain-free passage. What I hope for you is that you have as much support as you wish to have. If I were with you, I'd hug and hold you both.


Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:45 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, my pain is still so raw from losing my huband three weeks ago. He had colon cancer with metastisis and battled for 4 1/2 years. When the pain medicine was increased for his comfort, there was relief to see his pain eased, but our conversations, as we knew them were also decreasing. Laurie, this is such a heartbreaking time for you, but please know we are all there with you and Leroy. I send prayers to you both.

Sent by Pam Lever | 10:50 AM | 8-15-2008

Of course we are delighted to hear from you, Laurie. I'm assuming that Leroy is finally sleeping, painfree. This will probably be the pattern for the rest of his life. He will "sleep" far more than he'll be awake.
Remember that hearing is the last sense to go. If my patients appear to be sleeping, I just talk away as though they are awake. They all remember what I've said and once in a while they open their eyes and comment right on topic.
Because this is so new for you, it is a painful and difficult step. Try to remember that your beloved man is now more comfortable and, after all, that is what counts!
I try not to think about my own X-Rays scheduled for early next week. The results will determine whether or not it makes sense to continue on with treatment. The thought of yet another round of chemo, my fourth, makes my blood run cold.

Sue in stormy DE

Sent by Sue Mersic | 10:53 AM | 8-15-2008

I hope the new meds give Leroy the comfort and peace he so richly deserves. I share the thoughts of everyone on the blog today. It just never gets any easier to grasp why bad things happen to such good people.

With prayers and love from north of the border,
Nancy from Canada

Sent by Nancy | 10:54 AM | 8-15-2008

I am so so sorry for the pain you are feeling. Sending thoughts of comfort to the you and Leroy.


Sent by Karen | 10:54 AM | 8-15-2008

Sending you & Leroy much love during this difficult time...may its presence propel you above the battleground...

Sent by sheron - denver | 10:54 AM | 8-15-2008


I'm so sorry. I know from the way you've 'talked' that you will find the strength to continue being the best lifegiver Leroy could ever have had. You are coming to the hardest part of your journey. Leroy will be taken care of--by you and others--make sure you take care of yourself.

He's as blessed to have you as you are to have him.

Hugs and prayers to you both.

Sent by Kathy Barney from Michigan | 10:56 AM | 8-15-2008

Remember foot prints in the sand.
You are not alone.

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 10:56 AM | 8-15-2008

I have only tears today because I know my friends will be walking in your shoes with my cancer progressing. It hurts us as patients but it hurts the ones around us even more to see suffering. We are with you Laurie. You are the love of Leroy's life and that will never change. He is so lucky to have you beside him at this point. Godspeed Leroy. I can't wait to meet you in heaven one day soon. Love, Peace and Understanding-
Laura in Arizona

Sent by Laura | 11:03 AM | 8-15-2008

I suppose not every day can be a winner. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. May the growl quiet quickly and another day of quiet purring replace it.

Please take a special moment for yourself Laurie. I can only imagine how difficult it is to see Leroy fight. I admire your strength.

Sent by Alexis Redmond | 11:03 AM | 8-15-2008

Leroy and Laurie, your writings continue to be a lovely and bitterwseet gift. Thank you.

Sent by martha | 11:05 AM | 8-15-2008

Sending you lots of love today, Laurie.

Sent by Linnea | 11:06 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie
A chill came over me when I read your words and I ache inside for you. You are both in our hearts and we will be here always holding you in love.

Sent by Tina from Alton, IL | 11:07 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie, Thank you for your honest words. You expressed them so well. My thoughts and prayers for peace, gentleness and love to you and Leroy, today. My thanks for all you have shared with us.. My own husband is facing the reality of congestive heart failure-that when he overdoes-his body is not going to respond like he wants. He is continuing to lose weight and it is so hard to watch. My breath has given me many clues about this journey. I hold it when I know what he says is so important-like my body is doing something different. I have had to use my Pilates breathing skills etc.,.
thank you again for sharing your journey. I send love and prayers....and much you...

Sent by Diane | 11:07 AM | 8-15-2008

Good morning, Laurie
So many of us know the emotions and the exhaustion you're experiencing. I'm being repetitive in my writing, but try and focus on what your presence means to that dear man. The comfort that he feels from having you near. I cry for you both, but know your love will carry you through these toughest of times.

Sent by Sharon | 11:08 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie - The caregiver brigade is all right here behind you...following the same path. Heading toward the door that we must all walk through, if not today then tomorrow. We are with you.

Sent by Ricci | 11:11 AM | 8-15-2008

No thunder here, just the ominous silence of fog...I hold you both in my heart and wish for grace.

JCR -there's plenty of room in my heart for you and your husband today too!

Endless heart for all!

Sent by Joan S. | 11:16 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, We all send you both our strength to help ease Leroy's pain.

We all send you our love and support to make it through another day.

We all feel honored that you share your thoughts and pain with us.

We send you great hope for pain-well- managed days where you both can enjoy a bit of peace, a laugh, a good story...

We send you our hearts.

Sent by NancyGM | 11:19 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy,
My heart goes out to you.
Hugs, hugs, hugs,and huge love,

Sent by Jenifer | 11:20 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,

Wishing I had the right words to say. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by barbara j | 11:24 AM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy,
My heart is with you both but is heavy - stay strong, the best to both of you. My words are inadequate so I will call upon Dylan Thomas - he had some pretty good ones:
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

From The Poems of Dylan Thomas

Rage, Rage Leroy!

Sent by Henry W. Plag | 11:24 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, May you and Leroy find a little peace in knowing how many people are praying for you both.

Sent by Jeanne Stevens | 11:35 AM | 8-15-2008

I'm thinking of you. I can't begin to tell you how much your honesty and willingness to share has touched my heart. I'm sending prayers your way, and I hope they wrap around you both, like a blanket of comfort.

Sent by Mary | 11:43 AM | 8-15-2008

Thinking of both of you, but especially you Laurie. It is so very hard to watch a loved one suffer and know that there is so little you can do to alleviate that pain. However, the "superduper" pain meds. help to dull the footsteps of the predator... keep them coming. In the meantime, know that you'll both be in my thoughts and prayers today and throughout the weekend.

Sent by Donna R. in NJ | 11:43 AM | 8-15-2008

to Betty Obst -

May you have a rainbow filled weekend with the ongoing love of your daughter and family. Thank you for including us.

Sent by Joan S. | 11:48 AM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, I have been where you are, and it is so painful to have the person you love most slipping into a new place and leaving you behind. I feel for you so much and wish I could give you and Leroy big bear hugs and make it all okay again.

Sent by annie | 11:48 AM | 8-15-2008

Check this out...Leroy has his own entry on Wikipedia now.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 11:54 AM | 8-15-2008

Leroy and Laurie: You two are doing such an outstanding job in handling all these conflicts. God will give both of you the needed strength for the next step. Keep your thoughts positive, and remember you have your dog to help you out!! Sue Sheehan, Bothell, Wa.

Sent by sue sheehan | 11:56 AM | 8-15-2008

My sister has a saying for such times, "You know that if I could I would wrap your tender heart in cotton wool to protect it..." Those are the words that best say what I wish I could do for you and Leroy now. You ARE wrapped in support, care and and love. Beaming you deep roots, a light heart despite the present challenge, and the freedom to live, love, rant, cry, dance, laugh, gnash or whatever winds up being right for each emerging moment. And a double scoop of deep peace and presence, and the sense of being held in safety and warmth.

Sent by Sarah | 11:58 AM | 8-15-2008

My love and prayers go out to both of you.
Leroy is approaching the transition we must all make one day. My prayers are that it be an easy one for him and that you, Laurie, will be comforted by the fact that you helped him on his way. May God bless.

Sent by Joyce | 11:58 AM | 8-15-2008

May our added strength and love and understanding surround you both and ease a bit the daze and roar of the storm. God be with you both.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 12:12 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy,

I see you both nestled in the softest, most comfortable, most peaceful spot, where no harm can come. Only love. And more love. Always.

Deborah Altschiller's powerful note that we are all ninjas brought to my mind's eye those silent sentinels, the Chinese Terra Cotta Warriors. As I recall, they were put into place to protect their emperor in the afterlife. What a vision of strength at such a time of sorrow and loss. Surely, dear Leroy, you too deserve such protection when that journey begins.

Wishing you wondrous, unexpected blessings, and with a grateful, heaping heart ~

Your friend,

Kim Forester

PS - To Mary Fitzpatrick, love and peace to you, as well.

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:15 PM | 8-15-2008

I am away from my MA home, in CA. Came by train, and have been worried that I would lose you while away. This is the first chance I've had in days to check the blog. I am worried and sad. I can't even imagine how it must be for you. It seems so hard to imagine living without your daily voice, your spirit, your blessings. Love, Joyce

Sent by Joyce Smith | 12:17 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy,

My thoughs are always with you on your journey. May you find peace, calm, and perspective during your travels.

Feel the thoughts and love of mamy who know and follow you.

Dave in Colorado

Sent by Dave in Colorado | 12:21 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, and Leroy, So sad to read your post, Laurie. Hospice is a great help. We knew this was coming with our son, Andrew, but it was so painful to watch him get weaker. Thank heavens for the medicine and the comforting actions and words from hospice. You are not alone. I wish I could do something for you two but what can one do. Just be there as we were with our son, Andrew. Loving thoughts to you both.

Sent by Maureen | 12:32 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie--I know you will find the strength to handle this last stage because you want to so badly. You *want* to be there for the love of your life, and so, somehow, you will find the courage to do all the things you must do. My father, in his last week, told my mom that she didn't have to *do* or *say* anything in particular. Just being there and holding his hand comforted him.

To Leroy and Mary Fitzpatrick, may you both feel surrounded by love right now, bringing you peace.

Sent by Katie | 12:42 PM | 8-15-2008

I wish I had something brilliant or comforting to say. I wish this process didn't have to be painful. I wish this didn't have to happen at all.

I hope it helps, in some small way, to know that there are thousands of people all over the world holding you in our thoughts, grieving along with you and wishing you peace.

Sent by K. Ives, Duluth, MN | 1:02 PM | 8-15-2008

Peace and strength to you both.

Sent by @stales | 1:39 PM | 8-15-2008

You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 1:40 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,
My life has been interwined with Leroy's since I had a lung removed a yr ago this month. I have read all the blog archives...many more than once...and this gift he has given us will live on long after he is gone. It has brought immeasurable comfort to thousands of cancer warriors, and he has put a new face on the battle & rewritten the rules of engagement. I will try to immulate him in strength, humor and courage in my last days...his legacy will live on.

Your words, today, were beautifully written...and your feelings fill the air. May peace be with you both.

Sent by Cyn Hennard~~~Vermont | 1:41 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,
Two others have said it and it is so true: hearing lasts longer than other senses. I can bearly see through my tears... Sorry... When end-stage Alzheimer's had my mom, she still had her hearing. Savor every second, no matter how difficult it gets. You have my strength along with everyone else's.

Thank you again and always!

Sent by Judie in CT | 1:53 PM | 8-15-2008

There's love zooming to you from Kansas - a big hug for you and a gentle hand for the big guy.

Love and courage.

Sent by GFC | 1:55 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
You are in my heart and prayers.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 2:01 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, your expression of the thunderstorm is beautifully written! I know this is such a hard time for you, but your writing is a gift...I always read the blog, and for awhile would dread the day the writing wasn't Leroy's, but that was months ago. Now I have come to expect you and others occasionally filling in. Since you are the caregivers and care-watchers, I always take wisdom and inspiration from what you say. Sometimes the thunderstorms and the storms of life they have done for you. That happened to me once at a time of loss. Long story and no room for it here. I do remember from long ago, an old hymn called "Til the Storm Passes By." I'll have to look up the lyrics...maybe others can too. OH by the way, thanks to who posted that Leroy has his own Wikipedia entry. Too cool! If he's up to it and writes next week, would love to hear his thoughts on that. May peace find you this weekend. Sally in Spokane

Sent by Sally in Spokane | 2:06 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,

I hope you and Leroy have a good weekend. I pray for you and Leroy every day. I believe in miracles. I hope you get one. We all need Leroy around. So, I hope we all get a miracle!

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 2:11 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie, It's a chilling message and a nightmare situation. I hope there's something about this nameless faceless community on the blog, a group that cares about you and Leroy, that provides a tiny light during your darkest hours. I will always remember both of you; in fact, I frequently mention you to friends, expressing admiration for your openness and humanity. Salee

Sent by sajenkins | 2:14 PM | 8-15-2008

My prayers are with you both. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer last summer. It's spread, first to the adrenal gland, now the brain. She's been my rock and is the matriarch of our family for my 40 years on this planet. Reading your battle has comforted me and also saddened me. But I thank you both for your honesty.

Sent by Jennifer R. | 2:16 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie & Leroy, My heart aches for you both. Today is the anniversary of my mom's death due to cancer. I wish she was still here, but it comforts me to believe she is in a wonderful, beautiful place, where there is no pain or sadness or suffering, surrounded by family and friends who have died. May you both feel us all holding you close in our hearts and surrounding you with strength and caring and prayers.

Sent by Teresa from Missouri | 2:23 PM | 8-15-2008

This brings much love to you both and, again, I wish you enough...... Joyce H.

Sent by Joyce Hughes | 2:30 PM | 8-15-2008

L & L - I know the sound of that roar - just roar back louder - I am new to your blog - but now to the realities of Cancer - having Lung Cancer myself - I get it - if they say they have a stronger chemo treatment or other way to deal with it - and possibly halt it's growth - go for it - don't strop trying - just around the corner could be the cure - we have to believe that - praying for you both - Karen

Sent by karen Peyser | 2:45 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie & Leroy, There are many many of us who read but don't post. Leroy is a rock and and you are an inspiration to us all. What a treasure you have given us these few years.

Sent by Jill in New Zealand | 2:46 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,

What a beautiful way of putting into words such devastation.

I know that you are stronger that you ever would have thought you wanted or needed to be.

Once again, cancer is a Bastard..

love and peace,


Sent by susiedq | 2:51 PM | 8-15-2008

leroy has given me so much the last year and a half. i have no words to offer other than quite simply heart weeps deeply as your pain and leroy's pain increases. i wish i could do more ..nothing short of a miracle. in my prayers, thoughts,heart and tears.

Sent by marianne dalton | 2:52 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,

I can't add anything more profound or loving than all the comments above- only echo them all to you both. I am recalling the song 'Carry Me' written for my aunt in the 70s as she neared her end. She said 'if you could only untie these strings, I could surely fly' I think I have it correct. I always think about these lyrics and how all the medical stuff can get in the way of the spiritual stuff. We're with you both.


Sent by brin | 2:56 PM | 8-15-2008

Although it's not "cancer-specific" I'd like to offer everyone a wonderful resource I found: "Healing through the Dark Emotions: The Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair" by Miriam Greenspan. It's helping me deal with the loss of my mother. I wish I had read it after losing two friends - sisters - to breast cancer. Heartfelt wishes to all of you.

Sent by Terri | 3:05 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie & Leroy,
Holding you in heart and mind, in thought and prayer. Peace be with you.


Sent by Lyn / AZ | 3:19 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy,
Sending caring, healing thoughts your way.

Sent by Maggie, Seattle | 3:21 PM | 8-15-2008

Loving you both...

Sent by faun | 3:34 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie - wish, wish, wish we could all do something for you and Leroy!! Guess that once again, hopefully the outpouring of love and prayers will be felt by you and shelter you some from the storm.....
Will keep you in my prayers all weekend!

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 3:35 PM | 8-15-2008

May you both find refuge in the love and care that you both share with each other.

Sent by John | 3:41 PM | 8-15-2008

Just another post to say we feel for you both, Laurie and Leroy... deeply. And a note also to Paul, who posted this morning (9:28): that was beautifully written, and very wise.

Sent by Barbara K | 4:29 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,
You and Leroy are in our thoughts. Peace to you.

Sent by Paulette | 4:37 PM | 8-15-2008

I wish there was something I could say that would help, just as I wish someone could have said something to me that would have helped. But they couldn't. I can't.

This grief is yours, nobody else's, and you have to find your own path through the fire. Much as I wish things could be different for you, all I can say is I'm so sorry you're going through it.

I've had an Indigo Girls song running through my head all day. It's called "Everything In Its Own Time," and goes, in part,

Remember everything I've told you
Keep it in your heart like a stone
And when the winds have blown things round and back again
What was once your pain will be your home.

Much love

Sent by Bruce | 4:47 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie: Wish I had something profound to say to you today, but words fail to come. My heart goes out to you.

Love always,


Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 4:55 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie
Please try to give this image to Leroy...visualize all of us...thousands of his army...standing shoulder to shoulder blowing kisses and wishing him well; expressing our gratitude to him for all the help he has been to us.

Sent by Helen McGurl Gesiotto | 5:02 PM | 8-15-2008

I don't know if the blog is therapy for you or painful for you but I hope you only do what's in your heart. We all live in dread of the bad days and relish the not so bad ones. I hope you can find something to give you some relief occasionally. If you are like me the guilt of feeling relief or pleasure is almost too much to bear in itself. Take care of yourself.

Sent by Kathie | 5:07 PM | 8-15-2008

Some of us have lived through these storms before, and we are weeping for you both, knowing what is to come.

Leroy, you're in held in loving arms, both here on earth and up above.

Laurie, you have wells of strength you don't even know you have... and you'll find them when you feel weakest. Ask for help and you'll find it.

Love each other well! These moments of tenderness go so slowly, yet so quickly... you're both in my prayers.

Sent by cancer PT | 5:16 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie: The strength you say you will need to find is there already in everything you both say and do. How else to explain the gift that is this blog? Big hugs to you and Leroy.

Sent by Myra W. | 5:44 PM | 8-15-2008

I was diagnosed with 3B Cervical Cancer at age 28, I am now 30. It has been a very difficult journey for me, my family and friends. Cancer takes a lot from us all but if we pay close attention it gives us much too! I have started a blog as well and it has helped me heal. My goal is to raise Cervical Cancer Awareness and create a place for victims, survivors and supporters. God bless you!

Sent by Meaghan Edelstein | 5:55 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
My heart is breaking....all I have to give you are my prayers.

Sent by Mary C. | 5:57 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,

You are stronger than you know.

And I'm paying attention to two things:

The thunderstorm has passed.

Leroy is planning on being back next week.

Still praying, hoping, lifting!

Sent by Janice J. , Los Angeles | 5:58 PM | 8-15-2008

Just tears and prayers and caring-

Sent by Sherri Beadles | 6:22 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie...I am so sorry for you and Leroy,your family and friends..peace, courage and dignity

Sent by Terry Keegan | 6:30 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie & Leroy,
There are no words. I am so sorry. Love and prayers to you both.

Sent by Mary M. (CA) | 7:26 PM | 8-15-2008

Leroy- I too am crying beause it really sounds like your damn cnacer is finally going to get you. I cannot imagine going to my computer each day without reading your blog. You are just a very special, smart, intuitive,thoughtful, funny and warm person and we are just so lucky that you have shared your life with us. Laurie- I have gotten to know lyou as well and you two are such a warm example of love. I think of you often and know that the both of you are squeezing every last bit of fun there is out of your awful situation. A miracle is called for but Leroy you and Laurie have been a miracle to everyone who reads this blog. Pat yourselves on the back and try not to let thoughts of the near future rob you of the many fine moments you have left. Warm wishes from me.

Sent by linda h. | 7:51 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie and Leroy - I'll continue to keep you in my morning and evening God Squad prayers (a large group of us pray for our solders in Iraq daily at 9 pm CT which is when their morning begins. We hope to surround them with strength and safety). I feel so helpless that all I can do is send hugs across the miles and pray!

Sent by Stacy Fox | 9:11 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie: I am stunned at your ability to put into such beautiful words the pain you are feeling; and in awe of your ability to continue to share this with us all. It is such a privilege to share this journey with you. I have been where you are - - a couple of times - - and although i thought the pain was almost more than I could bear as I held both my Grandma and my Grandpa as they passed away, I look back at those experiences with amazement and gratitude. You and Leroy are so lucky to have you.

My thoughts, as always, are with you. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with us.

Sent by Suzanne in Houston | 9:11 PM | 8-15-2008

Prayers for strength for you Laurie and peace for Leroy. My thoughts are with you both.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 9:14 PM | 8-15-2008

Many of us have been in your shoes....but that doesn't make them fit any better...I hope you can feel the love and caring of the many caregivers you've never met. You have likely found strength you never dreamed you had. May God give you both even more strength and comfort.
Kathie S.

Sent by Kathie Scott | 9:33 PM | 8-15-2008

May our caring help in some way.

Sent by Karen | 9:37 PM | 8-15-2008

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you as always.

Sent by Karen | 10:04 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie & Leroy,

I'm not a patient or carer but have been following this blog since the beginning. It's fundamentally changed me and my attitude towards people with cancer.

Both of you and all the fellow posters are in my thoughts always.

Sent by Craig from Australia | 10:29 PM | 8-15-2008

Laurie, I remember that sense of being stalked by a predator when Kerry's cancer made it's move. I remember fearing I wouldn't be strong enough to be who he needed, how he needed me to be. I was afraid the cancer would devour both of us, our love, our legacy. It didn't. I really did learn that love is stronger than loss in the end.

Sent by Victoria Hendricks | 11:20 PM | 8-15-2008

I too have been where you are, Laurie. It's so lonely to begin making decisions alone when you've always made them together. The flip side to having pain relief is that your loved one is less aware, less present. It's lonely.
I'm sure your hospice nurses must have talked to you about the stages of acceptance, withdrawal, and peace that patients go through in late stages. If not, have that discussion. It helped me a lot to have heard of this ahead of time, not to be surprised.
When my husband was fighting cancer and losing strength, I remember telling family and friends that I was being strong then, but that when John was gone, I would crash. I warned them that I would crawl into an emotional hole and stay there until I was ready to come out. I expected that I'd want to curl up and cry and be left alone - to go numb. But I was wrong. When he passed, I was lonely and exhausted, but at peace. The long good-bye, watching his emotional and physical pain, was the hard part. I'd done it. I didn't have to crumble. Now, four years later, I still miss him terribly. But nothing will ever again be that hard.
Don't be afraid. You already have done things you'd never have thought possible. You'll do this too, with grace and love.
I believe Leroy will pass straight from your hands to God's. Neither of you will be alone. I pray that this assurance and comfort will be clear to you.
You're both in our hearts.

Sent by Laura | 11:36 PM | 8-15-2008

Leroy and Laurie,

I cannot possibly image how you feel, but I feel like I have been punched in the stomach, when I read your recent posts. Please know that we all share your pain in a small way, and touch our lives in a huge one.

Love to both of you.


Sent by George Giaimo | 11:58 PM | 8-15-2008

Dear Laurie,
Just heard the news about Leroy. Sending hugs to you across the years and the miles. May you find comfort in the love of friends and family, and the loving memories you hold.

Sent by Marcia Kern | 12:47 AM | 8-16-2008

..."The day when i would need to be stronger still."

Yes. My wish for you, Laurie, is that you may find that you are stronger even than you ever wished you were.

Many total strangers think of you every day. We want to keep both of you afloat.

Sent by mary | 1:26 AM | 8-16-2008

Laurie, I commented this morning at 5am my time here in Oregon. But just got home and read through the many comments of the day. Also you and Leroy have been on my mind all day. I hope things are going a little smoother. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 1:30 AM | 8-16-2008

I'm thankful for Leroy's gift of educating the public about the fight against cancer. His great journalistic talents are put to a purpose he surely would never have chosen, but his choice to continue to use them to this purpose has blessed countless people. Thank you, Leroy. and to Laurie.

Sent by Aimee D., Reno NV | 3:04 AM | 8-16-2008

Laurie and Leroy,

I was diagnosed with terminal pleural mesothelioma in December 2007, at age 56, 10 months after retiring from a career I loved in public service. The disease is moving along, but relatively slowly for now. I probably have a few months left.

I discovered Leroy's blog early in 2008, at a time when it meant so incredibly much to me to read words that showed I was not alone. No one who isn't going through this really knows what it is like. And no one but Leroy could have put it into words so articulately, so accurately, so humanely. Leroy, your special gift with words is a gift to all the world, not just Cancer World. Those of us who have never met you have been so greatly enriched by your work. You have allowed me to feel part of something larger and more potent than I could ever be alone. And you reached out to all of us as no one else has done.

Thank you both for what you do. And Leroy, when I get to the point in life that you are now at, I hope I can be as graceful and accepting yet as stubborn as you are. And Laurie, I hope that my husband can hold on, as you have, to the good memories even as you each mourn the loss of who your partner used to be.

With gratitude,
Sandra C.

Sent by Sandra Cohen | 6:36 AM | 8-16-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
I am brought to tears today.How I happened upon this blog is of no importance,What is important is that Leroy's blog and this whole community have given me the gift of finally living
life.Thank you Leroy,thank you all.
Leroy you have touched more people than you will ever know,in ways that go beyond discription.
thank you for the gift of life Leroy,
thank you all.
valerie from Maine

Sent by valerie foley | 7:36 AM | 8-16-2008

Thank you Leroy.

Sent by Carolyn | 8:23 AM | 8-16-2008

I am heartbroken by this news. Leroy's blog has changed the cancer world and all of us impacted by it. He lives on the lives he touched and inspired.

Sent by Alison Silberman | 9:11 AM | 8-16-2008

I salute one of the "toughest kids on the block" for everything he shared with us. There are many lining up to welcome him home, my Dad, Bobby, Laura and every family member of those of us who followed this blog faithfully and gained strength from it.
My deepest sympathy and thanks to you, Laurie for helping Leroy through this and for touching the common man in such a unique way. You should be so very proud. Love and Prayers,
Antoinette Comprelli, Montville, NJ

Sent by Antoinette Comprelli | 9:55 AM | 8-16-2008

Your voice will live on for all of us.

Sent by Leslie Bjorncrantz | 1:46 PM | 8-16-2008

Dearest Laurie,
I am so very sorry for your lose and our lose. I was shocked when I read that Leroy had left us. I feel as though you all are family since I came to know you both through the blog. My most precious memory of Leroy is the jeep wave. When I read that the other day I cried. It really touched my heart. My heart goes out to you dear lady. I'm crying again. Lois, Palatka, FL

Sent by Lois Carnley | 2:26 PM | 8-16-2008

I am so very sorry for your loss. While we have lost a dear friend and hero, you have also lost the love of your life and best friend, as well.

You are in my thoughts. May you find strength in the difficult days to come.


Sent by Mel Sebastiani | 8:27 PM | 8-16-2008

He has been set free, no longer in pain.

Sent by Steve | 10:11 PM | 8-16-2008

Our love, thoughts & prayers embrace you.

Sent by JoTee | 9:30 AM | 8-17-2008


Sorry to hear that Laurie. I grew up with Leroy. Elementary through HS. He was my first sleep over in 3rd grade. Saw him play drums in the 7th grade talent contest and many more memories.

Believe me, he was as smart in 3rd grade as he was all the years that you knew him.

None of us are here on this planet for very long. Its really nice to know that Leroy has done so well with the time he had. I am sorry you have to go it alone now. Leroy is fine. He sings in the cosmos now. It is the folks left behind that hurt.

Sent by Robert Millsap | 3:37 PM | 8-17-2008

As I sit here with tears, I just want Laurie to know how sorry I am for you with Leroy's passing. My Tim is finally sleeping this evening after a bad day of chemo. He called me at work today to come home early because of the side effects and apologized over and over. But there isn't any place I would want to be but by his side, especially if it gives him some comfort.

What a wonderful lifegiver you were to Leroy, and I hope I can be as good of one for Tim.


Sent by diana smith | 12:47 AM | 8-18-2008

Thank you Leroy for your courage in sharing your story. Your NPR commentaries have moved me...

Sent by Cheryl in Bluffton, SC | 6:55 AM | 8-18-2008

God Bless you Leroy. I'll see you soon.

Sent by Thomas | 7:31 AM | 8-18-2008

Dear Laurie-we all have a friend and advocate in a high place today. that doesn't mean we are OK with the feelings of loss and abandonment. it is a tragedy to lose such a wonderful intense friend. thank you for sharing him and we are all better for his presence in our and robbie cripe

Sent by Robbie Cripe | 7:33 AM | 8-18-2008

This is the first thing I've ever written on a "blog". I had been meaning to connect with "my cancer" before, but now it's too late- a feeling I've had a lot since I was diagnosed with liver cancer in October 2005. Mr. Sievers made me feel it was possible to connect with a community of cancer sufferers, and I listened, always, to any news of his condition on NPR. He will be missed.
PS: I recieved a liver transplant in November 2006 and I pray every day that the cancer is gone.

Sent by Wendy Comstock | 9:23 AM | 8-18-2008

Separation anxiety is a difficult thing. Today I woke up with that awful thought: I won't be hearing from Leroy or you today. Somehow knowing how you're keeping it together makes the rest of the Army out here in Cancer World keep it together.
How you are coping is beyond me. hang in there, girl! Know we are with you. Here when you need us. Sort of like medical insurance...

Sent by Jo-Ellen | 9:53 AM | 8-18-2008

The growl...I know it all too well. It is hauntingly familiar. I, like you, have witnessed its power and its devastation. It leaves us with more questions than answers, another chip off an already broken heart. An emotional roller coaster ride that never ends. Though the growl unfairly took the life of my sister more than a year ago, the wounds from the bite have never healed. I wish for you understanding, an answer. We may have had to stand by and watch in horror, but we are better people for having known them...all the people who have experienced the growl first hand. Yet, we will never feel like we have ever done enough. From a favorite song: So I try to say goodbye my friend- I'd like to leave you with something warm. But never have I been a blue calm sea, I have always been a storm.
Death may end a life but it will never end a relationship.

Sent by John | 7:21 PM | 8-22-2008

Dear Laurie,
You and Leroy have such wonderful memories of the full life you had together! No one can take them away from you, and you will have them forever. You are not alone, for we are all here for you.

One day at a time...

Sent by Hana | 10:52 AM | 8-26-2008


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