NPR logo It's <em>Great</em> To Be A Jew On Christmas!

It's Great To Be A Jew On Christmas!

I honestly don't know what Kyle Broflovski was talking about when he sang, "It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas", so plaintively. I think it's awesome. Here are a few of my favorite reasons.

1) I have all of the holiday spirit, and none of the angst.
2) Hanukkah lasts for eight days, so you have eight chances for your gift to be on time.
3) Gentiles feel sorry for you, so you tend to end up with a lot of non-denominational candy on your desk.
4) But, if non-Jews wonder where their gift is, you can just tell 'em, "I'm Jewish."
5) Other people's Christmas lights. I just love them! 'Specially a good creche.
6) Any excuse to bake. (I'm accepting any and all advice on making meringues.)
8) Any excuse not to go to the gym. "I can't! It's closed." (Except mine, sigh.)
9) No post-Christmas letdown!
10) And of course, the wide world of Christmas Carol adaptations. You get to watch them all, 'cause what else are you doing!? (My favorite is George C. Scott. But watch Patrick Stewart for a nice Shakespearean warble on the grave scene.)

Anyhoo — here are Kyle's feelings on the matter. (Favorite line: "I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree... or leave water out for Rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me — my people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity. I'm a Jew... a lonely Jew. On Christmas.") Chag Sameach, everyone!