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With Apologies To The Graduates of 2010

It's graduation season again... Let the uplifting commencement addresses begin! With all of the high-minded, uplifting words of encouragement we'll hear from the likes of President Obama and Lisa Kudrow (I never thought I'd use those two names in the same sentence), Teddy Wayne clearly couldn't help but draft an alternative, reality speech. To the class of 2010, he says:

Congratulations-you've voluntarily worked hard for four years, and your reward is here: compulsory, harder work for the next 40 years! Unless, of course, you don't find a job. Which is likely, considering you probably majored in something totally impractical for the modern world, like 18th-century French Lit, or finance.

That's hardly his darkest moment. Take it as harsh realism for today's grads or take it as a joke, but you can find the full piece at