NPR logo Sandwich Monday: The Egg Rollie

Sandwich Monday

Sandwich Monday: The Egg Rollie

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Ever since Neanderthal man first cooked mammoth eggs over a fire, we've been looking for newer and better ways to cook eggs. Finally, the Egg Rollie is here. Take a second to watch the video above, then recoil in horror, then read our review.

Ian: "EGG-cellent!" I love the way it "EGG-scretes" the eggs!

Miles: Say what you will, this is significantly more successful than the time I tried to make an omelet in my toaster.

Eva: You should see the chicken this came out of.

It emerges. NPR hide caption

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It emerges.

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It is really amazing to watch it work. You drop in a couple eggs, and about seven minutes later, they rise, all on their own, like an egg snake, obeying the flute of its egg snake charmer.

Ian: It's like a missile silo for World War Egg.

Miles: We really should've known something was up when every recipe in the cookbook started, "Cook eggs in something other than the Rollie."

Robert: Oh, look what it says on the box: "Winner of the Most Likely To Maintain Its Shape Through Your Entire Digestive Tract Award."

Eva does not like it. NPR hide caption

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Eva does not like it.

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Robert: It's not the kind of deviled egg I'm used to, but at least it really does come from Satan.

In progress. NPR hide caption

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In progress.

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Eva: Now I know what to eat with my tube toast every morning.

Ian: I'm excited to cut this up with a Ginsu knife, then wash it down with my Ron Popeil juicer, then clean up the mess with my Shamwow, then dry my tears on my Slanket.

Robert tries it. NPR hide caption

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Robert tries it.

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Miles: "As Can't Be Unseen on TV!"

Blythe: Is it OK that I'm using it as a shake weight?

[The verdict: pretty disgusting. There's just something about watching what you're about to eat move on its own that really knocks the appetite right out of you.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me.

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