Ever heard of an 'E-FIT'? I hadn't, but I don't watch CSI, NCIS, or NCSI-Miami. It's a method of creating a computer-assisted composite sketch of criminal suspects. The British E-FIT machine, though, appears to be broken or at least hungry for vegetables.
The alleged perp here is described as having "wavy blonde or greying hair." Which the 'E-FIT' machine believes means "head of lettuce or cabbage."
While the image has caused some embarrassment, the police stand behind its value, saying, "while the hair on this image may not be of the best quality, it takes nothing from the overall clarity of the facial features."
But to the contest...what did ol' Lettucehead allegedly do? Best guess gets everlasting glory, or at least a mention in this week's credits. As always, made-up stuff trumps facts and Googled answers.