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Colorado Congressional Debate Disappointingly Non-Violent

In a week where political debates have been boring affairs outside of the occasional amazing beard, pee break, and Constitutional Law Lesson, we were pretty excited to see this lede in Politico:

A congressional debate in Colorado briefly turned physical over the weekend, when Rep. Ed Perlmutter (D-Colo.) slapped Republican Ryan Frazier.

Hurray! It's Perlmutter-Frazier II: The Rumble In The Rockies! This'll be great on the show! But then we watched the video:

YouTube

And you know what? That is not a slap. I don't know what it is. It's barely a poke. It may be a caress, or a paw. Possibly even a blandishment.

Related: I got a thesaurus.

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